Anxiety and Depression Won’t Stop Me! (My Diary)

So today I found myself in a bad headspace mentally. For those of you who don’t know, I suffer from anxiety and depression. I am not ashamed to talk about it anymore. I use to be, but not now.
Now, that we got that out the way. Today, we’ll let’s be honest the last few days my anxiety has been getting the best of me. I am not sure why. I am about to embark on a new adventure into unknown territory, but that’s not it. I don’t know what it is, to be honest.
I just thought I would share this tidbit because relationships are more than about the ones you have with others. It is also about the one you have with yourself. You can’t have a wonderful relationship with others until you take care of yourself.


It took me a long time to learn how to take care of myself. However, since I have learned it allows me to be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, etc. I have learned to love me first, and then I can love everyone else.
As far as the depression and anxiety go, I pray that one day God will completely lift them off me. Until that day happens, I will just keep looking to the hill which cometh my help and all my help come from the Lord.
I think I will add this permanently to the blog. My little personal diary insert. What do you all think?
2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

“Emotions All Under Control”(repost from old site) By Mrs. C

“Emotions All Under Control”(repost from old site) By Mrs. C

Psychologically emotions can be broken down in several categories and we may process and deal with emotions and feelings differently. Emotional expression toward the other can affect our relationships being positive and healthy or negative and unhealthy. Emotions can sometimes be hard to detect. What emotions are you feeling, whether it is regarding self or in a relationship this could be quite uncomfortable in dealing with negative emotions and reactions if others. Another question you can ask is my relationship healthy or unhealthy?

Healthy relationship usually offers emotional stability. It is also rewarding and refreshing leaving both individuals to feel whole. You see growth , feel a sense of accomplishment, freedom, and self worth.
Unhealthy relationships can sometimes lead to negative emotions, abuse, opinions, lack of respect and criticism. Look, guys you can never compromise in an uncompromising situation. Don’t argue, and lose yourself. First, analyze yourself and in analyzing yourself be honest. Take that mirror and microscope and look deep inside. Second, depending on the severity of the situation establish a realistic plan that works in handling the things that make the relationship unhealthy. Third, make sure that you have a positive support system or unit whether it spiritual counselors, professional counselors, or advisors.
“Let me break it down and just put it out there.” We all want to be in a relationship and sometimes we may hook up with the wrong individual and later within the relationship, due to the cycle experiences we learn there are certain things we did not know about the other. There may be habits the other person has that goes all over you and we just cannot see pass them. In your marriage you remember for better or for worst. In a dating game you might just say, “The Heck with This.” Regardless we all have to be respectful, trustworthy, and be good stewards in relating to others. No one is perfect and the lives we lead are not perfect. “Step over that pair of pants he left in the middle of the floor do not be so quick to complain.” Because believe me women there are things that we do he looks over. If you cannot get over the negative feeling seek positive solutions for all parties involved. On a healthy note when two people can come together and communicate, respect, and trust one another they can move mountains. It is not going to be peaches and cream all the time but, in a healthy relationship the couple works hard together to come to a solution.
In experiencing certain situation and emotions we have to be our own cheerleaders. Don’t be so quick to point the finger and speculate concerning others because when you react hastily you stand a chance of being wrong, and may possibly result in a negative and unhealthy outcome. Just relaxed don’t worry and remain calm find ways to channel your energy in a positive manner.
Sincerely,
Mrs. C.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Psalm 32:8

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Mrs. C holds a degree in art and psychology and is currently pursuing her Masters.  She is presently working an educator, because of her passion to work with students and their families.  She believes her Christian faith and her family keeps her grounded, in pursuing her dreams. She is currently a blogger for http://www.darealtalk.com, and always has plenty to say.

Coping With a Child’s Medical Issues (as a couple)

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Coping With a Child’s Medical Issues (as a couple)

From the time you find out your pregnant, most mommy’s and daddy’s begin to imagine in thier head about thier child’s future. You never imagine you child having issues of any kind, because you only want the best for that child. However, sometimes a child is born with medical issues or medical issues develop later down the line. This is a hard pill to swallow, because we never want anything to be harmful to our child. As a mother or a father we just want our child to be protected. If this does pop up, then you find yourself wondering how you (and/or your mate) are going to cope. This is true even when the condition is not life threating, but just life long.

I say you need each other more then ever. Both of are dealing with the pain of this issue in his or her own way. As a women a lot of times we may cry and our men may not. It doesn’t mean that they are not worried or it is not bothering them. This just means they are wired a different way and cope totally different. I can also tell you that their hurt most of the time runs as deep as yours. However, since our thinking isn’t so rational at times like these just because we don’t see them cry we sometimes assume that we are going through it a lone, but it’s not true.

You have to get together and talk about. You have to let each other know that no matter what you are thier to support each other and carry each other through. You are each other’s strong support system, because you have to be strong for that child. That child should be your main focus, but not so much to forget about each other.

I am going to end this here, because I am just rambling on. My husband and I are dealing with an issue now, with one of our twins.  Don’t worry his condition is not life threatening, just life long and adjusting. He probably won’t be phased much, because with him being so young he will just naturely adjust. He is a strong willed and determined little boy, with a lot of fight in him. He is going to grow up and be someone great.

However on the parent home front, after the intial reaction, my husband and I will over come this. We have come through a lot together, because we have had experience with all our kids being born preemies ( from my health issues) and the death of our son (And having to bury him), we have learned all of this stuff that I noted up top. We have learned to have each others back. He is strong where I am weak and vice versa. I just wanted to post this hoping that maybe, it will help some other couple that may have been going through medical issues with thier kids. I want them to know not to let it drive a wedge between, but become closer because you need each other.

Keeping Your Mind Right! (life as a woman)

Keeping Your Mind Right! (life as a woman)

I have been super busy lately because the break is over and school is back in session. This is the time that I truly have to apply Mrs. C’s balancing act to my life because I want to make sure that I have enough time for school, my kids, my husband, and myself. The everyday life can sometimes just carry you away and overwhelm you. It is so important to seek God because you need something to hold on to in order to keep your mind. As women, we carry so much on our plate and many times we try to do so much without realizing what we are doing to ourselves. We have to watch it because at times it becomes so overwhelming that we find ourselves snapping at everyone around us. Our stress levels are high and so learning stress management techniques becomes very important, as well as taking time for yourself. When we are stressed a lot of times we end up stressing everyone around us. I myself really want to make sure that I apply stress management to my life because I don’t want my stress levels becoming a problem for my marriage. My husband, thank God, knows what kind of stress that I am about to undertake, with Grad school and is very supportive. However, it is not fair to him if I allow my stress to interrupt our happy home. Bottom line is to do whatever you have to in order to relieve your stress, for your family but most of all for your mental and physical health. My main advice as always let God help you to find the right technique for you and keep your mind open to the Holy Spirit when he is talking to you.

“Balancing Act” written by Mrs. C

“Balancing Act”  written by Mrs. C

(repost from old blog)

Today many times we find ourselves on overkill or overload. Women we take on many tasks in providing for the needs of our husband and family, not to mention our own personal needs. Men you work, work, and work hard in providing for your family, growing tired in the process. You both need to STOP, don’t lose yourselves outside of home it is very essential to balance work, home, and personal life to prevent losing yourselves and what you are working for together. Because you are on overkill, or overload it sometimes makes it very difficult to deal with certain situations that may come about in the relationship. “STOP”? right where you are, sit down and just breathe. Pray and ask God to help you, because he is right there waiting. Conduct a family meeting to talk and establish some ground rules, allowing everyone to share. Remember to remain open for suggestions. You and your mate are one, and to make things balance and flow smoothly it will take everyone, including the children taking on tasks and instructions.

Now, as a couple set aside that time, for the two of you. If you do not see the time, make some time for the other. Dig deep and think of the good that attracted you to one another. “DATE” whether it may be in the bedroom, the movies or out for dinner alone, as long as it is away from overkill and stress. The best release is to engage in a spontaneous evening of romance and sex. Sex is the best way to de-stress your mind and body suggested by doctors and professionals, as well as it honoring your union as one.

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Mrs. C holds a degree in art and psychology and is currently pursuing her Masters.  She is presently working an educator, because of her passion to work with students and their families.  She believes her Christian faith and her family keeps her grounded, in pursuing her dreams. She is currently a blogger for http://www.darealtalk.com, and always has plenty to say.

Da Real Talk Challenge: My Personal Journey to Accomplshing my Goals

Da Real Talk Challenge: My Personal Journey to Accomplshing my Goals

Da Real Talk Challenge ~ Today, Da Real Talk challenges you to start trying to work towards accomplishing one goal that you ever wanted to accomplish, in life. If you accomplish that one, then you will realize God has already given you the power and ability to accomplish the rest, if you only just believe, in yourself!!!! Don’t ever limit your potential, because with God you are limitless.

I am going to share my personal experience on accomplishing one of my goals that started me on the drive to want to continue on and accomplish more. The first goal that I set out to accomplish for myself is obtaining my BA., in psychology.

I had longed to go back to school for years, but it keep seeming that obstacles kept coming up and I keep getting discouraged. I had even actually started back, but my heart was not completely in it, because I had personal issues going on. Well after working a couple of jobs, where I knew I my intelligence level was way smarter then my supervisor and my skill level was to high I decided to go on back to school. Not bragging, but you must always think highly of yourself, even if no one else doesn’t.

It was not going to be any easy challenge either, because I was married and with four kids, and my twins just happen to be babies when I started back. Yet, I wanted to go back to school. My husband said it was the perfect itme, because I wasn’t working.

Now, I am going to say my sister, because I really don’t like using that sister-in-law (family becomes one through marriage), Sheka, introduced me to the University of Phoenix. Mind you I was a little skeptical at first about the whole online schooling, but I thought to myself “Hey do you really have a couple of more years to waste, until the twins got old enough for you to get back in a traditional class room?” So I decided to go head and give it a try anyway, because I only needed a couple of more years to graduate anyway.

This started my goal to my second challenge, because anyone who has been to school online knows you have to be super discipline. I tell you with kids, being discipline to do online classes is a challenge. I had to schedule and routine myself for setting up times to do school work, cater to my husband, and take care of my kids. Let’s just say I suffered from a lack of sleep. It did not stop me though, I kept pushing on. Thank God for a wonderful husband, wonderful parents, wonderful siblings, and my bestie Kim Candler  who kept me encouraged. However, let me tell you that still wasn’t enough, I had to go directly to God for self encouragment and encouragment from the Holy Spirit.

At the beginning, of this year when I was so nearing the graduation date. My dad (My Husband’s Dad) passed away and then my maternal grandfather passed away. That on top of just regular life issues, begin to weigh on me hard. My family and bestie kept on encouraging me. It got so bad that I had an anxiety attack (I thought I was having a heart attack) and I was about to walk away from doing the actual commencement ceremony. It was so bad my twins had even wrecked our van, and seem like things kept happening. I had to really go to God then and continue to encourage myself even more.

Well, I made it to that ceremony. I walked acrossed that stage. It was the best feeling in the world.  I graduated with a 3.5 GPA which was good considering all the obstacles I had been going through. I knew then I wanted to start to accomplish everything a set my mind on.

For at example “Da Real Talk” is my baby. This is my company that I am working from the ground up. This has not only has to do with relationships, but life. I chose the rose, because God visioned it to me as showing the beauty of a woman. It will eventaully venture into a lot of direction from books, to clothes, to non profit organizations, etc. the directions are limitless. Hence the slogan “Venturing into Whatever Direction God Allows” me to go next.

See, now I have realized that I can accomplish goals, so I am working on two goals. The other is getting my Masters Degree in Professional Counseling. It is in a traditional classroom now, because the twins are in headstart.These two goals will have me busy for the next  couple of years, but with God and my supporting cast I have around me I will accomplish these goals also. And eventaully my ultimate goal of obtaining my PH D.

With all that being said, please don’t overload yourself with goals, because you can become discourage. My father once told me “that discouragment was the devil’s biggest weapon and it is very deadly, if you allow it to be.” So try to build up your accomplishments, by completing one goal first and then continuing on to more. Thanks for taking the time to read  my goal accomplishing journey. Now, get up and start towards yours.

Today’s song is by R. Kelly : I Believe I Can Fly

 

Coping with Illness (via associated content)

Coping with Illness (via associated content)

I am posting the link to another article. This is actually an article that I wrote. For those of you don’t know sometimes I do a little freelance writing for associated content. This article is for those couples having to cope with illnesses, because illness can cause terrible problems in a marriage. Not in all cases, because there are some couples that have learned successful coping techniques. If you or someone you know are facing this issue and is unable to cope then this article is for you.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/8372111/how_to_begin_to_cope_when_illness_occurs.html?cat=70