Coronavirus Pandemic: Remember Your Vows

During this time of uncertainty, because of the coronavirus, COVID-19, we do not know what will happen from one moment to the next. The only thing we can do is pray. We should be doing that anyway, but we need it now more than ever. Spouses, we should be praying together. We should also be praying for each other, our kids, family, and friends.

The main thing is during this time of uncertainty please remember your wedding vows. For a lot of us, those wedding vows stated these words: “I, take thee, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.” Hopefully, when most of us said these words, we meant them.

However, even the strongest marriage goes through some tests, at some point. Most of the tests involve some parts of that vow. We may have forgotten to love and cherish each other. A spouse or child being sick may cause stress to the household. Forgetting to love and cherish each other, as well as sickness, causes their own set complications. Nevertheless, one of the biggest problems I have seen with some of the best marriages is when the house comes under financial distress.

This coronavirus outbreak can cause many families to go under financial distress. COVID-19 is causing a lot of travel, events, schools, businesses, etc. to close down. This means people are out of work. Not everyone has the luxury of working from home. Many people go out day to day working a 9 to 5 that is barely enough to keep life going.

Let’s face it many families are one paycheck away from losing everything they have. When people are under stress from finances they tend to start taking it out on the person that they love. Fingers start to be pointed. People saying, “You could have done this or you could have done that.” When actually they are worried and don’t know how to handle the stress that comes with it.

None of us want to feel financial stress, but the reality is at some points because of certain things such as the coronavirus we may feel them. We said for “Richer or Poorer,” and we have to remember that, during this time. There is nothing we can do about the economic stress that the coronavirus is causing, but there is something we can do about our marriages. Don’t let this thing that we can’t control break-up our happy homes.

We try to do the best that we can together until we can get through the crisis. We as a couple have to pray that God keeps our homes and family covered. We have to pray that God provides us with all we need to keep going. We pray for strength for us to mentally and emotionally maintain, through this crisis. Last, but not least we pray that even if we do face a financial crisis that our marriage comes out stronger than ever.

Anxiety and Depression Won’t Stop Me! (My Diary)

So today I found myself in a bad headspace mentally. For those of you who don’t know, I suffer from anxiety and depression. I am not ashamed to talk about it anymore. I use to be, but not now.
Now, that we got that out the way. Today, we’ll let’s be honest the last few days my anxiety has been getting the best of me. I am not sure why. I am about to embark on a new adventure into unknown territory, but that’s not it. I don’t know what it is, to be honest.
I just thought I would share this tidbit because relationships are more than about the ones you have with others. It is also about the one you have with yourself. You can’t have a wonderful relationship with others until you take care of yourself.


It took me a long time to learn how to take care of myself. However, since I have learned it allows me to be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, etc. I have learned to love me first, and then I can love everyone else.
As far as the depression and anxiety go, I pray that one day God will completely lift them off me. Until that day happens, I will just keep looking to the hill which cometh my help and all my help come from the Lord.
I think I will add this permanently to the blog. My little personal diary insert. What do you all think?
2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

“Three’s a Crowd : Keeping the Marriage Bed Sacred”

Image

As a Christian, I really believe the marriage bed is very sacred and I believe it should only be shared between husband and wife. However, as a Therapist, I have heard my share of stories, about what takes place when people allow other people to enter their marriage bed, to please their spouse. I am here to tell you as a therapist every relationship that has come through my office, with this problem, has ended terribly. As a Christian, this is why the marriage bed was designed by God to remain sacred because he has seen all the complications that could arise.

Image

When you choose to go this route you are playing with a double edge sword. This really harms the marriage. I hear so many say that they went this route to please their spouse. However, my question then becomes~ were you not good enough for your spouse, that they felt the need to add a third party? I know everyone’s grown and entitled to their own opinion, but I would feel disrespected.  I even have those saying that it is better than them cheating on me. Well, my response to that is you are just signing consent for both of you to cheat, with the same person.  In a lot of cases when this happens the intimacy, between the spouses go straight out the window. Why risk it? You know there is a chance this could blow up in smoke. My advice is to do it God’s way and this is one problem you can cross off your list.

Valentine’s Day :The Day is Gone So What now?

Just-Another-Day-Greeting-Card

The day is gone so what now? Well, I wanted to post this on Valentine’s Day but didn’t think that it would have much effect on the day everybody was receiving so much love. So I figured I would what to post this on a day that you would really think about it, to get the effectiveness that I wanted. Okay, the main question I wanted to put out there; do you give and receive the same amount of love any day of the year, as you do on Valentine’s Day or another significant calendar date. My friend and I had a discussion about it because we have seen people in relationships that the only days of the year they felt they received any love and appreciation on is on significant calendar dates. I myself know that my husband doesn’t just wait for significant calendar dates to make me feel special he does it when he gets the notion. I do the same for him as well.

I personally believe that you should treat others and be treated like that yourself more than just on certain calendar dates. You should be able to make any day a special occasion. You should always want to show love and appreciation to the one you love often and you should want to receive it often.

I mean making someone feel special or someone making you feel special usually feels more authentic when it is just done at random and not just on Valentine’s or other significant calendar dates. Don’t get me wrong to get extra love at any time is good, but it just carries more weight to me when it’s not a holiday. What do you all think is it just me or should the affirmation of love be shown on more than just a specific date?

Sending A Smile

Sending a Smile 

I feel the need to say that it is very important that we send a smile to the one that you love. They don’t have to physically see you, for you to make them smile. I know, because the other day when I was having a very bad day and my husband sent me a smile, from off the road. And yes when he is having a bad day I send him a smile as well. No, it isn’t easy when at times he is halfway across the country. However, we love each other and know that it is important that we keep each other smiling. Keeping each other smiling help to maintain the relationship.

love-smile-text


So how do you send a smile to the one you love, even if you are not near each other? I say to you send a sexy text, email, instant message or picture. There are times when a few words of encouragement, from the one you love, can make you change your whole outlook on a bad day. So if words can change your outlook on a bad day, imagine what you can do for the person you love.

smile


You should send the person you love a smile everyday anyway, whether their day is good or bad. Your actions of just sending them a smile, usually means more to them than the words that you wrote, because they are happy that you just took the time to send words to bring a smile on their face. So the next time you are just sitting there and they cross your mind send them a smile and it will brighten their day, whether that day was good or bad.

“Fire Proof” ~ Taking a Real Look at Marriage

I recently sat down and watch this movie called Fire Proof starring Kirk Cameron, with my daughter. She stated that …
Continue reading

Fire proof

I recently sat down and watch this movie called Fire Proof starring Kirk Cameron, with my daughter. She stated that I needed to mention this movie on my blog. Well, I had wanted to start back blogging to help kill the time, while my hubby was on the road, so I guess her suggestion gave me the perfect opportunity to ease back in.

Well if you have not seen it Fire Proof is a very good movie to watch. It should be easily found on DVD because it came out in 2008. My daughter and I caught it on TBN, but then I found out my mom had a copy.  It is a good love story with a Christian based theme, which was one of the main things I loved, about the movie. It made me take a look at my own marriage harder. Not that we are having problems, but I just wanted to make sure that we were not taking each other for granted. The movie showed how sometimes one person could get so complacent in the marriage, that they miss the signs when the other is not happy. Men, I am not about to start man-bashing, because complacency can happen on either side, man or woman. In the movie, it just happened to be him.

fireproof

And without giving to many details my favorite part was Kirk Cameron’s character realized that he need Jesus as a part of his life, and later in the movie he had changed so much his wife decided she wanted what he had. Jesus being the center of your life can make a world of difference in your marriage.

fireproof2

For those of you who haven’t seen it on a day when you got a little free time, it does so. You can even sit down and watch it with your spouse or the person you’re dating. They may enjoy it as well. I will let you in on a little secret. I got the hubby to sit down and watch it with me before he went back on the road. He even enjoyed it. So if you haven’t seen it go watch it, and if you have watched it leave some feedback on how you felt about the theme.

fireproof3

“The Love Of My Life”

“The Love Of My Life”

(Happy Anniversay)

 

My Love ~Vaughn Cleary

I often times say that there is no such thing as fairy tale and in actuality there isn’t, well at least not what you see on television. However, I do believe that you can have your “Prince Charming.” You have to not try to change your man, and both of you learn to grow together. It is not an instant overnight process. It is a growing pains and trial & error type situation. If you can both stick it out, and make the most out of all the good times, your relationship will come to close to fairy tale as possible.

Today I celebrate 14 years of being married to the love of my life. Everyday hasn’t been Sunny, but the good has always outweighed the bad. Our love has grown stronger over these years, by realizing neither one of us is perfect and learning to grow together, instead of apart. He is my biggest fan and strongest supporter, as well as I am his. I take everything that we have been through not as a negative, but as a life lesson. I thank God so much for him. He may not be perfect to everyone else, but he is perfect to me because I know God made him especially for me!!!! I love you Vaughn Cleary more then you will ever know. Happy Anniversary!!!

 

Taboo in the Bedroom!!! (repost from old blog)

Photobucket

Taboo in the Bedroom!!! (repost from old blog)

This is going to be quick post. I received an email wanting my opinion about  what is taboo in the bedroom for sex between a husband and wife. Well, first let  me thank you for asking the question? I don’t make it a habit to answer an email  in a blog post, because I like to answer questions back through emails, since  every one’s individual situations varies. However, there are occasions where I  will answer emails to general questions like this one, in the blog, if I feel it  may help others.
Now to answer your questions the only thing I see as  taboo in a husband and wife’s sex life is putting another person in the mix. If  that offended anyone, I am sorry but that is my belief, so do with it what you  please. People don’t change their beliefs for me and I don’t change mine for  others. #IJS Plus adding another person can cause a whole other set of  complications. Now as far as everything else goes, what goes on behind close  doors between two spouses is there business. God created sexual feelings not  only for procreation, but for husbands and wives to enjoy each other. I feel as  long as both of you are comfortable with it, then do what you do. Hey don’t be  afraid to experiment with somethings either, because you never know what you  might enjoy. #IJS

“Do Unto To Others As You Will Have Them Do Unto You”

“Do Unto To Others As You Will Have Them Do Unto You”

Sometimes beautifully spoken words that you say to a person or about a person can really brighten up their day. This is especially true in relationships. A loving word to your mate can sometimes help ease the stress and tension of the long day that he or she may have had. Sometimes it can be something as simple as “you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” You should constantly say and do things to make your mate feel happy and that way he or she will know that you appreciate them and all that they do. Think of it this way: what if the shoe was on the other foot? During your day, you already ran into a 101 people who don’t care, but by your mate being who they are and saying something caring to you its brings about a smile. It also helps you to forget about negativity that the other 101 people may have brought to your day. My friend Erica quote that old saying today “Do unto others as you will have them do unto you” and so think about that when talking to your mate today.

Also think about sending the words while they are away.

1.)  Call

2.)  Text

3.)  Email

4.)   Tweet

5.) Or pack them a note in their lunch or something that they take to work with them.

It will bring a smile to them and later they may bring a smile home to you. #IJUSTSAYING

Song For Today:Kenny Lattimore~For You