Coronavirus Pandemic: Remember Your Vows

During this time of uncertainty, because of the coronavirus, COVID-19, we do not know what will happen from one moment to the next. The only thing we can do is pray. We should be doing that anyway, but we need it now more than ever. Spouses, we should be praying together. We should also be praying for each other, our kids, family, and friends.

The main thing is during this time of uncertainty please remember your wedding vows. For a lot of us, those wedding vows stated these words: “I, take thee, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.” Hopefully, when most of us said these words, we meant them.

However, even the strongest marriage goes through some tests, at some point. Most of the tests involve some parts of that vow. We may have forgotten to love and cherish each other. A spouse or child being sick may cause stress to the household. Forgetting to love and cherish each other, as well as sickness, causes their own set complications. Nevertheless, one of the biggest problems I have seen with some of the best marriages is when the house comes under financial distress.

This coronavirus outbreak can cause many families to go under financial distress. COVID-19 is causing a lot of travel, events, schools, businesses, etc. to close down. This means people are out of work. Not everyone has the luxury of working from home. Many people go out day to day working a 9 to 5 that is barely enough to keep life going.

Let’s face it many families are one paycheck away from losing everything they have. When people are under stress from finances they tend to start taking it out on the person that they love. Fingers start to be pointed. People saying, “You could have done this or you could have done that.” When actually they are worried and don’t know how to handle the stress that comes with it.

None of us want to feel financial stress, but the reality is at some points because of certain things such as the coronavirus we may feel them. We said for “Richer or Poorer,” and we have to remember that, during this time. There is nothing we can do about the economic stress that the coronavirus is causing, but there is something we can do about our marriages. Don’t let this thing that we can’t control break-up our happy homes.

We try to do the best that we can together until we can get through the crisis. We as a couple have to pray that God keeps our homes and family covered. We have to pray that God provides us with all we need to keep going. We pray for strength for us to mentally and emotionally maintain, through this crisis. Last, but not least we pray that even if we do face a financial crisis that our marriage comes out stronger than ever.

Have You Ever Tried This?

I guess you all are wondering what I am talking about. Well, I am talking about taking a good look at yourself, to see where you are erroring in your relationship. Yes, it is easy for us to point out the fault in others. We tend to, however, forget that our words or actions could also be the problem, in our relationships.
Take me for instance. I used to look at all the faults in my husband but never looked at any of mine. Prime example I know I can get very flip at the mouth, at times. Often, I was doing it, at my husband. Honestly, when I truly sit and think about it, I was being truly disrespectful to him and our marriage. If he came out of his mouth at me any type of way, I would be very upset. However, I was not thinking about his feeling when I was doing it to him.

So, I ask this question again. Have you ever tried looking at yourself to see where you were erroring, in the relationship? If the answer is no, then maybe it is time to do a good self-evaluation. If the answer is yes then, how did you go about improving the error of your ways? And did it improve your relationship?
We must be considerate of the other person. If you speak harshly, change your tone. If you don’t help your spouse or significant other around the house, get up and help. If you don’t show your spouse or significant other the attention that he or she may need, do so. Whatever you are doing wrong try to fix it.
You can’t change other people, but you can change yourself. However, if you make a conscious effort to do better your spouse or significant usually take notice. This often encourages them to want to fix the error of their ways.

For me personally, as I begin to grow in Christ the Holy Spirit began to reveal to me things I needed to correct. I am not saying I do it perfectly all the time, but what I am saying is I try. I make it a practice to try to think about what and how I am saying it before I let it come out my mouth. I still get my point across. I just try to make sure I am not disrespectful to my husband or our marriage. I even notice he does it now as well.
I could have kept on doing the same thing, hoping to see different results. The chances of that happening were probably slim to none. Plus isn’t that the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? As we learn better, we just must do better.

Keeping God First in Your Relationship

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Photo by Caio Resende on Pexels.com

Now there are a lot of people who don’t believe in God, but there are many of us out there that do. I believe with everything within me that he exists and sustains me. With that being said, I believe in keeping him first in every aspect of my life especially my marriage.

Marriage a beautiful thing, but it has its shares of difficulties, from time to time. One reason is that you go from being a single individual to be a married couple. And though you may share a lot of things in common, you are still two different people trying to bring two individuals into one world.

I believe in putting God first because he provides you with wisdom and patience to be able to bring these two individuals into the one world. Also when difficulties arise he brings gives you wisdom and patience to overcome those obstacles too.

Let’s just put it out there. No marriage is perfect, but God makes it perfect for each couple. You don’t have fairytales like on tv where you never have any trouble. God gives you a marriage that teaches you how to work through the troubles.

God is love. He provides a perfect example of what it means to love and forgive. Jesus loved us all the way to the cross so that our sins could be forgiven. If what he did for us was not love, I don’t know what is. He teaches you how to love your spouse and forgive them if we feel like we may have been wrong.

I could write more on why it is important to let God be first in your marriage, but I am pretty sure by now that you get the picture. Just know that worshipping, praying, and loving God together, brings many many benefits to your marriage.
But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Mark 10:6-9 KJV).”

Love Like It’s The Last Day

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Photo by Rick Gailer on Pexels.com

Last year December 11, 2017, I felt the love of my life slipping away, from me. No, he was not emotionally detaching. He was physically on his way to leave me because he had a massive stroke. I had never been so scared in my life.

I said all that to say this. Tomorrow is not promised to you, so we have to live each moment that we have with the person we love, as if though it was our last. Because honestly, we never know when it will be our last.

I know a lot of times in the past before his stroke that I took for granted that he will always be there. I knew better, but that did not stop me from taking moments shared with him for granted. However, after he was almost taken from me I stopped taking our moments, for granted. I realized that our moments could become no more at any given moment.

So love fully, cherish each moment, and kiss the love of your life often, because each moment you have is very precious. I know from now on I will try to make the most of each of our moments together. I love him with all my heart, and will no longer take for granted our time that God has given us.img_20180303_121337.jpg

 

“Three’s a Crowd : Keeping the Marriage Bed Sacred”

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As a Christian, I really believe the marriage bed is very sacred and I believe it should only be shared between husband and wife. However, as a Therapist, I have heard my share of stories, about what takes place when people allow other people to enter their marriage bed, to please their spouse. I am here to tell you as a therapist every relationship that has come through my office, with this problem, has ended terribly. As a Christian, this is why the marriage bed was designed by God to remain sacred because he has seen all the complications that could arise.

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When you choose to go this route you are playing with a double edge sword. This really harms the marriage. I hear so many say that they went this route to please their spouse. However, my question then becomes~ were you not good enough for your spouse, that they felt the need to add a third party? I know everyone’s grown and entitled to their own opinion, but I would feel disrespected.  I even have those saying that it is better than them cheating on me. Well, my response to that is you are just signing consent for both of you to cheat, with the same person.  In a lot of cases when this happens the intimacy, between the spouses go straight out the window. Why risk it? You know there is a chance this could blow up in smoke. My advice is to do it God’s way and this is one problem you can cross off your list.

Valentine’s Day :The Day is Gone So What now?

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The day is gone so what now? Well, I wanted to post this on Valentine’s Day but didn’t think that it would have much effect on the day everybody was receiving so much love. So I figured I would what to post this on a day that you would really think about it, to get the effectiveness that I wanted. Okay, the main question I wanted to put out there; do you give and receive the same amount of love any day of the year, as you do on Valentine’s Day or another significant calendar date. My friend and I had a discussion about it because we have seen people in relationships that the only days of the year they felt they received any love and appreciation on is on significant calendar dates. I myself know that my husband doesn’t just wait for significant calendar dates to make me feel special he does it when he gets the notion. I do the same for him as well.

I personally believe that you should treat others and be treated like that yourself more than just on certain calendar dates. You should be able to make any day a special occasion. You should always want to show love and appreciation to the one you love often and you should want to receive it often.

I mean making someone feel special or someone making you feel special usually feels more authentic when it is just done at random and not just on Valentine’s or other significant calendar dates. Don’t get me wrong to get extra love at any time is good, but it just carries more weight to me when it’s not a holiday. What do you all think is it just me or should the affirmation of love be shown on more than just a specific date?

Sending A Smile

Sending a Smile 

I feel the need to say that it is very important that we send a smile to the one that you love. They don’t have to physically see you, for you to make them smile. I know, because the other day when I was having a very bad day and my husband sent me a smile, from off the road. And yes when he is having a bad day I send him a smile as well. No, it isn’t easy when at times he is halfway across the country. However, we love each other and know that it is important that we keep each other smiling. Keeping each other smiling help to maintain the relationship.

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So how do you send a smile to the one you love, even if you are not near each other? I say to you send a sexy text, email, instant message or picture. There are times when a few words of encouragement, from the one you love, can make you change your whole outlook on a bad day. So if words can change your outlook on a bad day, imagine what you can do for the person you love.

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You should send the person you love a smile everyday anyway, whether their day is good or bad. Your actions of just sending them a smile, usually means more to them than the words that you wrote, because they are happy that you just took the time to send words to bring a smile on their face. So the next time you are just sitting there and they cross your mind send them a smile and it will brighten their day, whether that day was good or bad.

“Fire Proof” ~ Taking a Real Look at Marriage

I recently sat down and watch this movie called Fire Proof starring Kirk Cameron, with my daughter. She stated that …
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Fire proof

I recently sat down and watch this movie called Fire Proof starring Kirk Cameron, with my daughter. She stated that I needed to mention this movie on my blog. Well, I had wanted to start back blogging to help kill the time, while my hubby was on the road, so I guess her suggestion gave me the perfect opportunity to ease back in.

Well if you have not seen it Fire Proof is a very good movie to watch. It should be easily found on DVD because it came out in 2008. My daughter and I caught it on TBN, but then I found out my mom had a copy.  It is a good love story with a Christian based theme, which was one of the main things I loved, about the movie. It made me take a look at my own marriage harder. Not that we are having problems, but I just wanted to make sure that we were not taking each other for granted. The movie showed how sometimes one person could get so complacent in the marriage, that they miss the signs when the other is not happy. Men, I am not about to start man-bashing, because complacency can happen on either side, man or woman. In the movie, it just happened to be him.

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And without giving to many details my favorite part was Kirk Cameron’s character realized that he need Jesus as a part of his life, and later in the movie he had changed so much his wife decided she wanted what he had. Jesus being the center of your life can make a world of difference in your marriage.

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For those of you who haven’t seen it on a day when you got a little free time, it does so. You can even sit down and watch it with your spouse or the person you’re dating. They may enjoy it as well. I will let you in on a little secret. I got the hubby to sit down and watch it with me before he went back on the road. He even enjoyed it. So if you haven’t seen it go watch it, and if you have watched it leave some feedback on how you felt about the theme.

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The Quiet Relationship Assassin “Emotional Affairs”

The Quiet Relationship Assassin “Emotional Affairs”

I was in-boxed a question today and I decided to share. The question ~”What would you consider to be an affair?”

Well first of all let me say that an affair does not have to just include sex, because sex is only the physical act of an affair.  An affair can be emotional as well. Even though some people think that as long as sex isn’t involve they are not having an affair. However, if you are taking emotions that are attended to be shared between a couple only, away from your spouse or partner and giving it to someone else then you are having an affair.  And emotional affairs can be just as hurtful and painful to your significant other as a physical affair, because trust becomes broken. The sad part once trust is broken that is hard to come back from.

Honestly, most emotional affairs lead to physical affairs.  When you think about an emotional affair, you think about secrets, whether it secret conversations, secret texting, secret emailing, secret social networking, etc. These secrets can become intoxicating, and you find yourself drawn closer and closer to that person. Then the next thing you know you find yourself sharing more about yourself to the other person than you do with your spouse or significant other. You find yourself can’t waiting to hear from that person or see that person. Your mind becomes consumed with thoughts about that other person, and then the next thing you know one thing is leading to another and you have found yourself in a position it is hard to come back from.

Am I saying you can’t be friends with someone outside your partner, no but what I am saying is be very mindful and careful with that friendship.  Not all friendships are meant to be, especially if you are in a friendship where you find yourself becoming attracted to that other person. This is when you need to cut all strings with that friend, if you want to relationship you are currently in. Just think of it this way would you want your spouse or significant other being friends with some and they have that kind of emotional attachment, even if it is not physical. No you wouldn’t, so please don’t do that to them.

If you are married then your spouse should, be your best friend anyway!!!!!!!

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