Coronavirus Pandemic: Remember Your Vows

During this time of uncertainty, because of the coronavirus, COVID-19, we do not know what will happen from one moment to the next. The only thing we can do is pray. We should be doing that anyway, but we need it now more than ever. Spouses, we should be praying together. We should also be praying for each other, our kids, family, and friends.

The main thing is during this time of uncertainty please remember your wedding vows. For a lot of us, those wedding vows stated these words: “I, take thee, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.” Hopefully, when most of us said these words, we meant them.

However, even the strongest marriage goes through some tests, at some point. Most of the tests involve some parts of that vow. We may have forgotten to love and cherish each other. A spouse or child being sick may cause stress to the household. Forgetting to love and cherish each other, as well as sickness, causes their own set complications. Nevertheless, one of the biggest problems I have seen with some of the best marriages is when the house comes under financial distress.

This coronavirus outbreak can cause many families to go under financial distress. COVID-19 is causing a lot of travel, events, schools, businesses, etc. to close down. This means people are out of work. Not everyone has the luxury of working from home. Many people go out day to day working a 9 to 5 that is barely enough to keep life going.

Let’s face it many families are one paycheck away from losing everything they have. When people are under stress from finances they tend to start taking it out on the person that they love. Fingers start to be pointed. People saying, “You could have done this or you could have done that.” When actually they are worried and don’t know how to handle the stress that comes with it.

None of us want to feel financial stress, but the reality is at some points because of certain things such as the coronavirus we may feel them. We said for “Richer or Poorer,” and we have to remember that, during this time. There is nothing we can do about the economic stress that the coronavirus is causing, but there is something we can do about our marriages. Don’t let this thing that we can’t control break-up our happy homes.

We try to do the best that we can together until we can get through the crisis. We as a couple have to pray that God keeps our homes and family covered. We have to pray that God provides us with all we need to keep going. We pray for strength for us to mentally and emotionally maintain, through this crisis. Last, but not least we pray that even if we do face a financial crisis that our marriage comes out stronger than ever.

Have You Ever Tried This?

I guess you all are wondering what I am talking about. Well, I am talking about taking a good look at yourself, to see where you are erroring in your relationship. Yes, it is easy for us to point out the fault in others. We tend to, however, forget that our words or actions could also be the problem, in our relationships.
Take me for instance. I used to look at all the faults in my husband but never looked at any of mine. Prime example I know I can get very flip at the mouth, at times. Often, I was doing it, at my husband. Honestly, when I truly sit and think about it, I was being truly disrespectful to him and our marriage. If he came out of his mouth at me any type of way, I would be very upset. However, I was not thinking about his feeling when I was doing it to him.

So, I ask this question again. Have you ever tried looking at yourself to see where you were erroring, in the relationship? If the answer is no, then maybe it is time to do a good self-evaluation. If the answer is yes then, how did you go about improving the error of your ways? And did it improve your relationship?
We must be considerate of the other person. If you speak harshly, change your tone. If you don’t help your spouse or significant other around the house, get up and help. If you don’t show your spouse or significant other the attention that he or she may need, do so. Whatever you are doing wrong try to fix it.
You can’t change other people, but you can change yourself. However, if you make a conscious effort to do better your spouse or significant usually take notice. This often encourages them to want to fix the error of their ways.

For me personally, as I begin to grow in Christ the Holy Spirit began to reveal to me things I needed to correct. I am not saying I do it perfectly all the time, but what I am saying is I try. I make it a practice to try to think about what and how I am saying it before I let it come out my mouth. I still get my point across. I just try to make sure I am not disrespectful to my husband or our marriage. I even notice he does it now as well.
I could have kept on doing the same thing, hoping to see different results. The chances of that happening were probably slim to none. Plus isn’t that the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? As we learn better, we just must do better.

Valentine’s Day :The Day is Gone So What now?

Just-Another-Day-Greeting-Card

The day is gone so what now? Well, I wanted to post this on Valentine’s Day but didn’t think that it would have much effect on the day everybody was receiving so much love. So I figured I would what to post this on a day that you would really think about it, to get the effectiveness that I wanted. Okay, the main question I wanted to put out there; do you give and receive the same amount of love any day of the year, as you do on Valentine’s Day or another significant calendar date. My friend and I had a discussion about it because we have seen people in relationships that the only days of the year they felt they received any love and appreciation on is on significant calendar dates. I myself know that my husband doesn’t just wait for significant calendar dates to make me feel special he does it when he gets the notion. I do the same for him as well.

I personally believe that you should treat others and be treated like that yourself more than just on certain calendar dates. You should be able to make any day a special occasion. You should always want to show love and appreciation to the one you love often and you should want to receive it often.

I mean making someone feel special or someone making you feel special usually feels more authentic when it is just done at random and not just on Valentine’s or other significant calendar dates. Don’t get me wrong to get extra love at any time is good, but it just carries more weight to me when it’s not a holiday. What do you all think is it just me or should the affirmation of love be shown on more than just a specific date?

Sending A Smile

Sending a Smile 

I feel the need to say that it is very important that we send a smile to the one that you love. They don’t have to physically see you, for you to make them smile. I know, because the other day when I was having a very bad day and my husband sent me a smile, from off the road. And yes when he is having a bad day I send him a smile as well. No, it isn’t easy when at times he is halfway across the country. However, we love each other and know that it is important that we keep each other smiling. Keeping each other smiling help to maintain the relationship.

love-smile-text


So how do you send a smile to the one you love, even if you are not near each other? I say to you send a sexy text, email, instant message or picture. There are times when a few words of encouragement, from the one you love, can make you change your whole outlook on a bad day. So if words can change your outlook on a bad day, imagine what you can do for the person you love.

smile


You should send the person you love a smile everyday anyway, whether their day is good or bad. Your actions of just sending them a smile, usually means more to them than the words that you wrote, because they are happy that you just took the time to send words to bring a smile on their face. So the next time you are just sitting there and they cross your mind send them a smile and it will brighten their day, whether that day was good or bad.

Don’t Let Your Past Determine Yourself Worth

the-past

I hate to see when someone is letting a past relationship interfere with the present relationship. I was just asked for some advice on this issue. So I figured this would make a great blog topic. The issue was that this woman had been in a relationship with this married man for years. She finally decided to get out of that dead-end relationship. She has met someone else who is ready to make her his wife, someone she isn’t sharing, someone who can give her financial stability, but most of all someone who loves the Lord. The problem is now that she has someone who can make her happy, she doesn’t know how to let him love her. She was so miserable for so long that she has her guard up and refuse to let it down no matter how hard he tries to show her that he loves her. The sad part is she is about to lose out on the best thing that has ever happened to her. Honestly, I think that past relationship made her forget herself worth. It is almost as if she didn’t feel like she deserves to be love.

Ladies, it is important that you learn yourself worth it if you don’t realize it already. You deserve to be treated like a queen and you should always think highly of yourself. No matter who you have run across in your past, he should not cause you to de-value yourself. You are a woman and wonderfully made. If a man loves you he will never make you feel worthless. He will always try to build you up.

worth
The past man may have hurt you, but ask God to heal. I would hate for you to miss out on a good man, because of the heartache of the last relationship caused you. God loves you and his love can repair the damage that was done to you. This is a good thing to do before you even consider entering a new relationship anyway. And when you finally do meet a new man pray and ask God to reveal to you whether he is the right one. If it turns out that he is the right one, then let him love you like you deserve to be loved and leave the past in the past.brokenheart

Knowing When to Sit the Garbage Out By the Road

Knowing When to Sit the Garbage Out By the Road

If you really want to move on to something new you have to let the past go!!!!!!!!!

There was a situation that I was asked my opinion on this week.  I have actually been consulted on this situation two days in a row, now. My answer has been the same for the last two days and it will continue to be the same.  If you are telling a person you do not want to be in a relationship with them you have to set clear boundaries with them. Telling them you don’t like them, but letting them come and lay up in your house, when they feel like it, is sending them mix messages and giving them a false sense of hope. You are not doing yourself or them any good, by doing this, especially if you say have already moved on. The person that you have moved on with is not going to like or accept your ex staying in your home.  Also if the ex is not paying bills at the house and you don’t need them to survive financially, why are you letting them come up in your house anyway, unless it is not truly over between you, two. You know what I say actions speak louder than words.

All I am saying is drop your old baggage or garbage whichever one you want to call it, by the road and let the garbage collector take it away. And if you like to recycle, remember everything is not meant to be recycled. Stop trying to hold on to something that is just making your house junky. And I am telling you if ex is still there all they are doing is making your house messy and stinky, in more ways than one.

I have permission to blog about this so we could hear some other opinions, so we would like if you leave us feedback either on a comment here or on the Facebook page. Thanks for your cooperation on this matter.

 

 

www.darealtalk.com

Hush Mode : It Doesn’t Mean ~ He Doesn’t Care

I just wanted to put this out there today. Women just because he isn’t talking, when he has things on his mind doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.

I know a lot of times a man can seem like he is on hush mode with us. And a lot of times he is. However, this does not always mean he is out there doing dirt. Men don’t wear their emotions on their sleeves like we do. Well, let’s face it, ladies, we wear our emotions everywhere and are not afraid to let it be known how we truly feel when we want to.

If we are having a bad day, going through an issue, or whatever else, we are going to vent our frustrations to our man. However, that is not always true for them. They a lot of times like to fix it without involving us. They try to keep us from worrying. Even though we feel as if they are trying to keep us out, most of the time they feel as if they are trying to protect us from unnecessary worry. Think about it~Isisn’t his job to be our protector?

And if you don’t nag him about it, whatever the issue was or what he had been feeling at that time, he will eventually tell you. If he hasn’t done anything to betray your trust, then you should trust him enough to know he will tell you on his own time. As long as he is doing other stuff to show you that he cares and loves you, then you can relax a little. I was always told that actions speak louder than words anyway, so just think about that the next time you want to jump down his throat when he is in hush mode. #IJS

“Do Unto To Others As You Will Have Them Do Unto You”

“Do Unto To Others As You Will Have Them Do Unto You”

Sometimes beautifully spoken words that you say to a person or about a person can really brighten up their day. This is especially true in relationships. A loving word to your mate can sometimes help ease the stress and tension of the long day that he or she may have had. Sometimes it can be something as simple as “you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” You should constantly say and do things to make your mate feel happy and that way he or she will know that you appreciate them and all that they do. Think of it this way: what if the shoe was on the other foot? During your day, you already ran into a 101 people who don’t care, but by your mate being who they are and saying something caring to you its brings about a smile. It also helps you to forget about negativity that the other 101 people may have brought to your day. My friend Erica quote that old saying today “Do unto others as you will have them do unto you” and so think about that when talking to your mate today.

Also think about sending the words while they are away.

1.)  Call

2.)  Text

3.)  Email

4.)   Tweet

5.) Or pack them a note in their lunch or something that they take to work with them.

It will bring a smile to them and later they may bring a smile home to you. #IJUSTSAYING

Song For Today:Kenny Lattimore~For You

 

“Watch What You Say” (I’m Just Saying)

“Watch What You Say” (I’m Just Saying)

 

One of the most damaging aspect of a relationship is not what you do, but what you say. Your mouth is a dangerous weapon. Whoever wrote that saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” was a lair. Words can leave deep scars. When we are in a relationship, we have to learn to watch what we say and how we say it to our mates.

You should always watch what you say, because once words leave your mouth they are gone and you can never take them back. You can apologize, but the words will always play in the back of that person’s mind. Depending on how hurtful the words were he or she may never get over them.

This is especially important to remember if you find yourself in a heated argument with them. A lot of time when we argue, we like to go for what I like to call “gut blows“. We try to find the most hurtful thing we could possibly say to our mate, in order to win an argument. The sad part is most of the time when we really set back and think about it we regret everything that came out of our mouth. However, by then it is usually too late and the damage is done.

So my advice is don’t do it, because you wouldn’t want it did to you. And if you really love them you would want to watch what you say anyway.  This is just another one of those things to think about the next time you get ready to argue, with your mate. I’m Just Saying

How Jealous is to Jealous? (I’m Just Saying)

How Jealous is to Jealous? (I’m Just Saying)

Let’s admit it, we all have a tendancy to get jealous at some point in a relationship. In some cases that person gives you a reason to be jealous, but what about those cases where it really isn’t thier fault. I guess my question is : How jealous is to jealous? I noticed that people who come out of relationshps where they have been cheated on tend to be a lot more jealous. I think people who do that need to be very careful that you are not pulling you past relationships into your now relationship. It is not healthy for you psychologically, it’s not healthy for your mate, or your relationship. In many cases jealousy is unwarranted, and comes up out of insecurties that your new mate will cheat, because your old mate did. Please be careful and don’t try to clump the two relationships in the same catagory. When you become over jealous you just may end up pushing that person away and maybe even into some elses arms. They may have had no intentions of going to someone else, but their mindset becomes he or she is going to accuse me of doing it anyway, so I might as well do it. Nope, I am not saying that justifies cheating, but what I am saying is that it does happen. All I want to show is that if you are displaying a jealous spirit make sure that the person has did something to deserve it, and not just because of what someone from your past did. #IJS