Couple’s Therapy ~ DMX and Tashera: Knowing When To Call It Quits

Okay, by now you should have all realized that I watch my share of reality shows on VH1. Don’t get me wrong, most are entertaining for the drama, but for me I watch it for more than the drama. I really just like watching to figure out what could possibly, be going on in your head to allow you to get on national television and act foolish. I think that is the therapist in me, I guess.

But anyway, I am not here to talk about me and my mental observation of people, I am here to touch bases on VH1’s Couples Therapy. I guess this show pulled me in for two reasons: one because I am presently in school to become a therapist, but mostly because of DMX and Tashera. The first episode had me hooked.

But my thing that I really kept pondering on with those two was ~ How much was too much to take in a relationship? Please don’t get it twisted I am all about working out marriages. I believe divorce should be the last resort, “but come on Tashera.” This man has told you he doesn’t want to stop sleeping around and his six kids outside of your marriage is proof enough he has no intentions of stopping his behavior. I know you left him, but maybe you should have stayed gone and away from this reality show. There is no point of getting false hopes over something that doesn’t he wants. I know you love him, but let go and I mean completely go. He can have a relationship with your kids, without having one with you. To be honest, I am hoping you did this show just for the money and nothing more.

Well, I guess I am about finish venting now, but I can’t stand to see a woman putting herself through unnecessary hurt. No woman should sit around continuing to get hurt, embarrassed, and humiliated, because of some man. It just makes no since to me, especially after the 20 something years that she has been going through this. Move on find someone else to live out the rest of your life, because you have wasted too much time on someone who obviously has no intentions of being faithful to you. Anyway I guess we will know by the end of the season just how this plays out and then I will blog on this again.

Tye Tribbett Speaks Truthfully About Infidelity

I was in amazement when I read this article, about Tye and Shante Tribbett cheating on each other, which broke up his group G.A. and practically ended their 11 year marriage. However, that was not the amazing apart. The amazing part was that they sought out spiritual counseling to try to reconcile, during a time when people are doing the divorce thing, quicker than teenagers can drop a text message. I hate they went through what they went through, but I found it encouraging. With all they put each other through, they found the strength to try to work it out. This is so rare, because I see so many getting a divorce over simple things like “he won’t help me around the house” or “all she do is nag.” If you love each other you should really try to work pass the simple things in life, because those things are nowhere on the level as infidelity.

Tye Tribbett spoke at the “Marriage Beyond The Vows” workshop at the 2012 Inspiration & Music Conference. He spoke about intimate details of his marriage and what he and his wife faced during this time. Plus there is a video below of an interview that he did for Praise 103.9 Let us know Da Real Talk on what you think about it. Comment Below or hit us back on the Da Real Talk Facebook page.

In a Relationship Alone, Why Settle? (Inspired By LOVE & Hip Hop)

                                                                                                                                                                                                He didn’t even look happy!

In a Relationship Alone, Why Settle? (Inspired By LOVE & Hip Hop)

Okay, well if you are a fan of Love & Hip Hop them you know season 2 is about to premiere. During season 1, I was really disturbed, because it hurt me to see Emily stick around, with Fab. He obviously didn’t care or love her. When you don’t want to be seen out in public with a person then there is a problem. Saying you didn’t want to be in front of the cameras for a reality show was one thing, but when it seems a as if you don’t want to acknowledge me as being your special someone then we have a serious problem. Or in Emily’s case Fab can’t take a few minutes to do a family photo shoot, what’s up with that?

So I guess the question that I am asking is why do some women settle for being in a relationship that the man doesn’t want to acknowledge them? I mean this doesn’t only occur in the celebrity world, but also in normal everyday life. You should never want to be in love or in a relationship by myself. That is not psychologically healthy. Yourself esteem should not be that low. If it is then you, need some counseling. Your relationship should be way more, then you sleeping together when he feels he has time for you. Seriously that is not a relationship that is more like an “in house booty call.” Let’s be real here and call it what is.  If you in a relationship by yourself, then it is time to move on and get into a relationship, with someone who wants to be with you. #IJS

Well, as far as Emily and Fab goes the media is saying they are no longer together. Some are saying she broke up with him, and some are saying vice versa. Hey, it’s the celebrity world so the truth will never be known. However, I hope she goes on to find a relationship where she isn’t in it alone. Best of luck with that Em!!

FYI- when I was trying to located pictures for the blog of him and her together and there were not many, so what does that tell you.

“Marriage ~ It’s No longer About the Love (example: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries ) “

“Marriage ~ It’s No longer About the Love (example: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries )

Well now, we can’t say that we didn’t see this one coming from miles around. We all had figured it out that it was all about the money. From the picture up top, you all know I am talking about the Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries marriage. I mean really, I thought they would go for a least 6 months, but 72 days. Now that’s ridiculous.

We all know that the pictures and videos made them both a lot of money and they got their day in front of all the news media again, but really what about the main issue here. Why do people play with marriage? Marriage should something that should be entered in with thought behind it. Even if it didn’t work out in the long run, you can still say that you put thought behind the decision, before making it. Some people put no thought, behind what I consider to be one of the biggest decisions that you will make in your life.

Have we become such a shallow society, that marriage is no longer about love but about money and convenience? Where is the love? We seem to be reverted back to the days where people had arranged marriages. When they had those arrange marriages, they weren’t about love they were about the dowry (money, land, etc. that brides family got for her). However, in those days they at least tried to stick it out regardless. But today they don’t stick it out; they treat marriage like a drive thru at a fast food restaurant, get married at one window and divorced at the next.

Well maybe it is just me being old fashion, but I don’t think you should enter a marriage unless you love that person and have given some thought about spending the rest of your life with the person. Whether it work out or not at least you have the peace of mind in knowing that you went in the marriage for the right reasons.

“What Chilli Wants Syndrome”

“What Chilli Wants Syndrome”

Okay, I was watching the season finale of What Chilli Wants, season 2. I know I am really late on watching it, but hey I eventually get around to watching shows.  What caught my attention though was that she was really feeling that guy, Lasse. She was completely different from season one, seem she was a lot less picky. I was impressed, because in season 1 seems like her expectations was over the top. However, by the season finale of season 2 seem like she was a little more sensible in her expectations. I am glad to see her mentally change some, in that regards, even if it was for the television cameras. I know couple of women who refuse to change their mind and continue to have these over the top expectations, so this brings me to today’s blog topic the “What Chilli Wants Syndrome.”

Most of us know at least one person that has it. The “What Chilli Wants Syndrome” is when a woman or man’s expectations for finding a mate is extremely too high. No, No, No, MzGaPeachy is saying settle for anything and anyone, but I am saying set your standards to a reasonable level. Understand that there is no perfect person. Hey you’re not perfect. I know you don’t want to hear it, but it is true.

Don’t have these over the top expectations or you will be greatly disappointed every time. You will jump from relationship to relationship, looking for perfection and will not find it. The way I see if the person has most of the qualities you want, and then don’t blow them off when they lack something else. I often times say if there is no cheating or beating, other issues can be worked around. Just give it a chance, you might find a jewel. Or you don’t have to give it a chance and continue have over the top expectations.  However, 9 times out of 10 you will continue to be single. Just something to think about.

Letting Go Is Hard to Do!!! (after watching LaLa’s Full Court Life)


Letting Go Is Hard to Do!!! (after watching LaLa’s Full Court Life)

Okay, thanks to the power of technology I am glad that I no longer have to miss my shows, because I can DVR them. So this morning I got up and watched LaLa’s Full Court Life, but the scene where Trina, LaLa, and LaLa’s mom was sitting in the resturant kind of disturbed me. I seen Trina in a new light and maybe that was the therapist in me. I don’t know, but the way she seemed to not want to let go of Kenyon Martin after 9 months of being apart was just heart breaking. I have seen it so many times in both women and men alike, but to see the human side of a celebrity just made it hit home even more that I chose the right field of work for me.

Now mind you upon some research I found I they had been together for a while, but I really don’t know how good of a ground that relationship started on since articles are saying that he was still married. I don’t know whether or not Kenyon and his wife were in the process of getting a divorce, but either way that gave the relationship a rocky start.

However, I am not here to talk about that aspect this time, but I want to talk about letting a person go. This is one of those easier said than done situation, but if a person doesn’t want to be with you then there is nothing that you can do about it, except accept it and move on. I often times say that you cannot make anyone love you. They either do or they don’t and it is as simple as that. I know that it is hurtful process, but if you don’t let go you can do more damage than good to yourself. When you don’t let go you are giving that person the power over you and that should not be so. The power that you are allowing them to have over you, they do not deserve. You should be using that power to move forward and find someone better. And let’s take into account that you do find someone that loves you, you may miss out on the best thing that could have happened to you, because you hung up on someone that cares nothing about you. So my advice is begun to heal yourself, by distancing yourself from the situation so that you can begin to look at it from a different perspective. The longer you try to stay connected the longer the process will take. Find you an outlet, so that you can use that energy that you spend worrying about them on something more productive. You are the most important person in your life, because without you taking care of yourself you are no good to anyone else anyway. #IJS Oh yeah, I was glad at the end that she agreed to go on the date. I don’t know if anything came from it, but the fact that she went was a start.

Is Swizz Beatz Still Up to His Old Tricks? (Cheating Already?) (via Yahoo’s associated content)

Is Swizz Beatz Still Up to His Old Tricks? (Cheating Already?) (via  Yahoo’s associated content)

I am posting the link to the article on Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz that I wrote for associated content. The last paragraph of the article sums up my thoughts of the situation.