Anxiety and Depression Won’t Stop Me! (My Diary)

So today I found myself in a bad headspace mentally. For those of you who don’t know, I suffer from anxiety and depression. I am not ashamed to talk about it anymore. I use to be, but not now.
Now, that we got that out the way. Today, we’ll let’s be honest the last few days my anxiety has been getting the best of me. I am not sure why. I am about to embark on a new adventure into unknown territory, but that’s not it. I don’t know what it is, to be honest.
I just thought I would share this tidbit because relationships are more than about the ones you have with others. It is also about the one you have with yourself. You can’t have a wonderful relationship with others until you take care of yourself.


It took me a long time to learn how to take care of myself. However, since I have learned it allows me to be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, etc. I have learned to love me first, and then I can love everyone else.
As far as the depression and anxiety go, I pray that one day God will completely lift them off me. Until that day happens, I will just keep looking to the hill which cometh my help and all my help come from the Lord.
I think I will add this permanently to the blog. My little personal diary insert. What do you all think?
2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Fix Her Crown Award…We All Need it Sometimes

I received a nomination, for the Fix Her Crown award, from Esme and you can read all about her at Esme Salon at esmesalon.com. I really think you would enjoy this blog very much, so check it out as soon as possible.

I am honored for her to nominate me today, when I was just commenting on her Facebook post. I think Esme so much for nominating me and my blog DaRealTalk.com for this award.

This award was originally launched by Cindy at CINDY GOES BEYOND Living Life Beyond the Edges.

Thank you Esme so much for the nomination!!!

The rules are simple:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and link to her blog.
  2. Copy and paste these rules to your post and please include a link to the Fix Her Crown Award post.
  3. Post three photos of just yourself and write a short caption beneath each about why you chose that photo.
  4. Nominate seven women for the Fix Her Crown Award, women who lend a helping hand to the woman whose crown seems too heavy, who appreciate the sister who dares to be her own glorious self, who raise strong young women, who smile at the sister journeying alone and walk alongside her for a time, who stand with the sister whose crown has been knocked off her head time after time and women who shine as their own beautifully unique selves.
  5. Link to the blogs of the seven nominees.

My 3 Photos

Ok this is me at my three job, lol.

The first is home (Wife and Mom): My big job!!!

Wife and Mom

The second is Me the Therapist.

The Therapist/ Life Coach

The third is Me the Victim Advocate

The Victim Advocate

My Nominees for the Fix Her Crown Award

https://ourfavouritejar.com/ Claire

https://northfourthst.com/  Amy

https://faithhealthandhome.com/ Makeba

http://www.jamesdavisandassociates.com/ Janeane

https://ginlemonade.com/ Lorena

https://nolongerastayathomemom.com/ Monica

https://achronicvoice.com/ Sheryl

Please take a moment, and visit these blogs and shower them with some love.  Read a post or two, leave them a comment and share it on your social media.  I know you will enjoy reading some of their post, because I sure do. I am sure they will all love the support.

You can also Spread the Love

If you have received the Fix Her Crown Award, it will be greatly appreciated if you have the time to spread the love to other women who are making a difference in their communities and the world and your blogging journey.

Any other bloggers visiting and reading this post you are more than welcome to also enjoy the Fix Her Crown Award. Create your own post, following the rules listed above, and nominate your fellow blogging sisters whom you treasure and value.

We as bloggers unite. We create, we connect and we share!

Have You Ever Tried This?

I guess you all are wondering what I am talking about. Well, I am talking about taking a good look at yourself, to see where you are erroring in your relationship. Yes, it is easy for us to point out the fault in others. We tend to, however, forget that our words or actions could also be the problem, in our relationships.
Take me for instance. I used to look at all the faults in my husband but never looked at any of mine. Prime example I know I can get very flip at the mouth, at times. Often, I was doing it, at my husband. Honestly, when I truly sit and think about it, I was being truly disrespectful to him and our marriage. If he came out of his mouth at me any type of way, I would be very upset. However, I was not thinking about his feeling when I was doing it to him.

So, I ask this question again. Have you ever tried looking at yourself to see where you were erroring, in the relationship? If the answer is no, then maybe it is time to do a good self-evaluation. If the answer is yes then, how did you go about improving the error of your ways? And did it improve your relationship?
We must be considerate of the other person. If you speak harshly, change your tone. If you don’t help your spouse or significant other around the house, get up and help. If you don’t show your spouse or significant other the attention that he or she may need, do so. Whatever you are doing wrong try to fix it.
You can’t change other people, but you can change yourself. However, if you make a conscious effort to do better your spouse or significant usually take notice. This often encourages them to want to fix the error of their ways.

For me personally, as I begin to grow in Christ the Holy Spirit began to reveal to me things I needed to correct. I am not saying I do it perfectly all the time, but what I am saying is I try. I make it a practice to try to think about what and how I am saying it before I let it come out my mouth. I still get my point across. I just try to make sure I am not disrespectful to my husband or our marriage. I even notice he does it now as well.
I could have kept on doing the same thing, hoping to see different results. The chances of that happening were probably slim to none. Plus isn’t that the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? As we learn better, we just must do better.

Don’t Let Your Past Determine Yourself Worth

the-past

I hate to see when someone is letting a past relationship interfere with the present relationship. I was just asked for some advice on this issue. So I figured this would make a great blog topic. The issue was that this woman had been in a relationship with this married man for years. She finally decided to get out of that dead-end relationship. She has met someone else who is ready to make her his wife, someone she isn’t sharing, someone who can give her financial stability, but most of all someone who loves the Lord. The problem is now that she has someone who can make her happy, she doesn’t know how to let him love her. She was so miserable for so long that she has her guard up and refuse to let it down no matter how hard he tries to show her that he loves her. The sad part is she is about to lose out on the best thing that has ever happened to her. Honestly, I think that past relationship made her forget herself worth. It is almost as if she didn’t feel like she deserves to be love.

Ladies, it is important that you learn yourself worth it if you don’t realize it already. You deserve to be treated like a queen and you should always think highly of yourself. No matter who you have run across in your past, he should not cause you to de-value yourself. You are a woman and wonderfully made. If a man loves you he will never make you feel worthless. He will always try to build you up.

worth
The past man may have hurt you, but ask God to heal. I would hate for you to miss out on a good man, because of the heartache of the last relationship caused you. God loves you and his love can repair the damage that was done to you. This is a good thing to do before you even consider entering a new relationship anyway. And when you finally do meet a new man pray and ask God to reveal to you whether he is the right one. If it turns out that he is the right one, then let him love you like you deserve to be loved and leave the past in the past.brokenheart

Da Real Talk Challenge: My Personal Journey to Accomplshing my Goals

Da Real Talk Challenge: My Personal Journey to Accomplshing my Goals

Da Real Talk Challenge ~ Today, Da Real Talk challenges you to start trying to work towards accomplishing one goal that you ever wanted to accomplish, in life. If you accomplish that one, then you will realize God has already given you the power and ability to accomplish the rest, if you only just believe, in yourself!!!! Don’t ever limit your potential, because with God you are limitless.

I am going to share my personal experience on accomplishing one of my goals that started me on the drive to want to continue on and accomplish more. The first goal that I set out to accomplish for myself is obtaining my BA., in psychology.

I had longed to go back to school for years, but it keep seeming that obstacles kept coming up and I keep getting discouraged. I had even actually started back, but my heart was not completely in it, because I had personal issues going on. Well after working a couple of jobs, where I knew I my intelligence level was way smarter then my supervisor and my skill level was to high I decided to go on back to school. Not bragging, but you must always think highly of yourself, even if no one else doesn’t.

It was not going to be any easy challenge either, because I was married and with four kids, and my twins just happen to be babies when I started back. Yet, I wanted to go back to school. My husband said it was the perfect itme, because I wasn’t working.

Now, I am going to say my sister, because I really don’t like using that sister-in-law (family becomes one through marriage), Sheka, introduced me to the University of Phoenix. Mind you I was a little skeptical at first about the whole online schooling, but I thought to myself “Hey do you really have a couple of more years to waste, until the twins got old enough for you to get back in a traditional class room?” So I decided to go head and give it a try anyway, because I only needed a couple of more years to graduate anyway.

This started my goal to my second challenge, because anyone who has been to school online knows you have to be super discipline. I tell you with kids, being discipline to do online classes is a challenge. I had to schedule and routine myself for setting up times to do school work, cater to my husband, and take care of my kids. Let’s just say I suffered from a lack of sleep. It did not stop me though, I kept pushing on. Thank God for a wonderful husband, wonderful parents, wonderful siblings, and my bestie Kim Candler  who kept me encouraged. However, let me tell you that still wasn’t enough, I had to go directly to God for self encouragment and encouragment from the Holy Spirit.

At the beginning, of this year when I was so nearing the graduation date. My dad (My Husband’s Dad) passed away and then my maternal grandfather passed away. That on top of just regular life issues, begin to weigh on me hard. My family and bestie kept on encouraging me. It got so bad that I had an anxiety attack (I thought I was having a heart attack) and I was about to walk away from doing the actual commencement ceremony. It was so bad my twins had even wrecked our van, and seem like things kept happening. I had to really go to God then and continue to encourage myself even more.

Well, I made it to that ceremony. I walked acrossed that stage. It was the best feeling in the world.  I graduated with a 3.5 GPA which was good considering all the obstacles I had been going through. I knew then I wanted to start to accomplish everything a set my mind on.

For at example “Da Real Talk” is my baby. This is my company that I am working from the ground up. This has not only has to do with relationships, but life. I chose the rose, because God visioned it to me as showing the beauty of a woman. It will eventaully venture into a lot of direction from books, to clothes, to non profit organizations, etc. the directions are limitless. Hence the slogan “Venturing into Whatever Direction God Allows” me to go next.

See, now I have realized that I can accomplish goals, so I am working on two goals. The other is getting my Masters Degree in Professional Counseling. It is in a traditional classroom now, because the twins are in headstart.These two goals will have me busy for the next  couple of years, but with God and my supporting cast I have around me I will accomplish these goals also. And eventaully my ultimate goal of obtaining my PH D.

With all that being said, please don’t overload yourself with goals, because you can become discourage. My father once told me “that discouragment was the devil’s biggest weapon and it is very deadly, if you allow it to be.” So try to build up your accomplishments, by completing one goal first and then continuing on to more. Thanks for taking the time to read  my goal accomplishing journey. Now, get up and start towards yours.

Today’s song is by R. Kelly : I Believe I Can Fly

 

Every Woman Is Special (repost from my old blog)

Every Woman Is Special (repost from my old blog)

Every woman is special and should know her own self worth. A woman should never compromise her integrity, her love for herself, or anything about herself that God has given her, that makes her unique. She is a an amazing being, with unlimited potential. She has the capability of completing several of life task, simultaneously, without one compliant. She can be very strong willed and can have the strength of a lioness,when needed. At the same time she can be very gentle, meek, and mild. She has beauty glowing all about, even if at times she doesn’t see it. I guess what I am saying is be careful with who you let have your heart, but at the same time don’t lock it to tight. You don’t want your heart locked so tight that when you run into Mr. Right you scare him away.