Couple’s Therapy ~ DMX and Tashera: Knowing When To Call It Quits

Okay, by now you should have all realized that I watch my share of reality shows on VH1. Don’t get me wrong, most are entertaining for the drama, but for me I watch it for more than the drama. I really just like watching to figure out what could possibly, be going on in your head to allow you to get on national television and act foolish. I think that is the therapist in me, I guess.

But anyway, I am not here to talk about me and my mental observation of people, I am here to touch bases on VH1’s Couples Therapy. I guess this show pulled me in for two reasons: one because I am presently in school to become a therapist, but mostly because of DMX and Tashera. The first episode had me hooked.

But my thing that I really kept pondering on with those two was ~ How much was too much to take in a relationship? Please don’t get it twisted I am all about working out marriages. I believe divorce should be the last resort, “but come on Tashera.” This man has told you he doesn’t want to stop sleeping around and his six kids outside of your marriage is proof enough he has no intentions of stopping his behavior. I know you left him, but maybe you should have stayed gone and away from this reality show. There is no point of getting false hopes over something that doesn’t he wants. I know you love him, but let go and I mean completely go. He can have a relationship with your kids, without having one with you. To be honest, I am hoping you did this show just for the money and nothing more.

Well, I guess I am about finish venting now, but I can’t stand to see a woman putting herself through unnecessary hurt. No woman should sit around continuing to get hurt, embarrassed, and humiliated, because of some man. It just makes no since to me, especially after the 20 something years that she has been going through this. Move on find someone else to live out the rest of your life, because you have wasted too much time on someone who obviously has no intentions of being faithful to you. Anyway I guess we will know by the end of the season just how this plays out and then I will blog on this again.

Have You Ever Pondered On This: Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?

Is he at it again?

Have You Ever Pondered On This: Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?

This has been a question that had played in my mind for a short period of time in my life, as I would think a lot of women have pondered. Trust me, you won’t be the first and you won’t be the last…… But try to make it your last time of having to ask yourself this question. I have been through the cheating boyfriend matter and after the all the apologies and the making up is done, this question will pop into your head. But ladies now, at this point, you have to be on your game. Like the saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!” Don’t fall for it the next time.

I think this question applies individually in each different relationship that has had to deal with cheating. In my opinion, (and I am a religious person), I think that anyone can be changed. God has the power to change anyone. Sometimes life’s events and occasional surprises can open up one’s eyes to what’s really important in life. While being caught and maybe losing the relationship is sometimes enough to open that cheating person eyes, and sometimes, it’s not enough. I’ve seen instances where there have been illegitimate children to come from outside relationships and it has been alright with the spouse. I’ve heard the apologies, seen the tears, and listened to excuses. So actions are going to have to play the ultimate decision maker. Are his/her actions saying that this change is real or are you listening to the same excuses on why he/she can’t answer the phone or spend some quality time? You are going to have to LOOK, and pay close attention to the actions. Is everything going back to it was before he/she got caught cheating? If so, or you find yourself asking this question too many times, then I think you already have your answer. But the next part is being strong and real enough to really accept your answer (Even if it’s not the one you want to hear).

So, I guess the real questions to ask yourself is, if it happens again, will you, A) put up with It?, or B) decide to let the relationship go and move on in life. But if you answer A, expect to ask yourself the next question, “How many times are you going to put up with it?”

Sheka Cleary

Sheka Cleary holds a degree in healthcare management and is currently pursuing a degree in Social Work.  She is mother of 4, a wife; and a helping hand and an inspiration to those around her, in the community, thus the degree in Social Work. She is currently a guest blogger for http://www.darealtalk.com, and hopefully you will be hearing more from her soon.

Tye Tribbett Speaks Truthfully About Infidelity

I was in amazement when I read this article, about Tye and Shante Tribbett cheating on each other, which broke up his group G.A. and practically ended their 11 year marriage. However, that was not the amazing apart. The amazing part was that they sought out spiritual counseling to try to reconcile, during a time when people are doing the divorce thing, quicker than teenagers can drop a text message. I hate they went through what they went through, but I found it encouraging. With all they put each other through, they found the strength to try to work it out. This is so rare, because I see so many getting a divorce over simple things like “he won’t help me around the house” or “all she do is nag.” If you love each other you should really try to work pass the simple things in life, because those things are nowhere on the level as infidelity.

Tye Tribbett spoke at the “Marriage Beyond The Vows” workshop at the 2012 Inspiration & Music Conference. He spoke about intimate details of his marriage and what he and his wife faced during this time. Plus there is a video below of an interview that he did for Praise 103.9 Let us know Da Real Talk on what you think about it. Comment Below or hit us back on the Da Real Talk Facebook page.