Bedroom Attire (repost from old site)
Question…Why when you first marry a guy you spend a lot of time preparing yourselves before you go to bed. You spend time looking good and smelling good, but as soon as you have been together for a long period of time you start to let yourselves go. You go to bed in the old unattractive nightgowns that even your grandma won’t wear, or anything unattractive. You then go and have the nerve to wonder why he peeping out the next chick. Well, what you did to get him you have to do to keep him. If you don’t want to invest in all the sexy lingerie, buy some sexy panties and just go to bed in them. I have better idea just don’t spend any money and go to bed naked. Many men will tell you itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not the wrapping, but the package. Whatever you do, just remember to spend some time looking attractive for your man when you go to bed. I know you can’t do it every night if you work or have a family, but remember try to do it as much as possible to keep him wanting to come back to your bed. Give me your feedback on the Facebook page.
Strange!!!! When He Doesn’t Want It!!!!
Okay, I read something that I thought was interesting today on the Oraph Winfrey website. Now I know that a relationship is not all about the sex, but sex does help to enhance closeness. The article caught my eye, because I read something that seems like a rarity. I mean it may be more prevalent them I realize, I guess I have to do some farther research. In the article the woman was saying that right before they got married the husband had already become disinterested in sex, so she was asking the doctor for advice. It was strange to me, because I could see it slowing down after you get married, especially with work and kids. However, I seen it as kind of a strange thing to happen before you add the responsibility of family. I mean I guess he could genuinely be disinterested in sex, but could it be something more? Could he have become overly consumed with work already and just be tired. I mean maybe he is having a hard time physically in that area, but the article stated he was in his late 20’s. It could be a strong possibility that he is getting it from somewhere else. She claims she has done thing to try to entice him, but he still seems disinterested. It’s just interesting.
I did agree with the Doctor’s advice, about talking to him and letting him know how she feels. However, I guess my next question if I was answering her question would be exactly how much has the sex dropped off, because that could be an indication of whether he is just tired or is he seeing some else. It was just strange. I don’t know. It could just be me reading more into it, because I know everybody’s sex life is on a different level. I would love to hear from you all on the subject though.
I just wanted to add this tidbit of info, because I know someone reading this article and take a simple statement and run with it. I made the statement about the people having sex before marriage. No, I am not promoting sex before marriage at all, so please don’t question my values. I am a realist though and I know that people do and that is just reality. In my line of work, I am going to meet all different people with all different issues. I am not here to judge or look down on people, because I remember I wasn’t always saved and I did things in my past that I am not so proud of. I am human and by far from perfect. I am just here to help people. I just wanted to say that, because I know some people look for anything to gossip about, shameful but tru
“What Chilli Wants Syndrome”
Okay, I was watching the season finale of What Chilli Wants, season 2. I know I am really late on watching it, but hey I eventually get around to watching shows. What caught my attention though was that she was really feeling that guy, Lasse. She was completely different from season one, seem she was a lot less picky. I was impressed, because in season 1 seems like her expectations was over the top. However, by the season finale of season 2 seem like she was a little more sensible in her expectations. I am glad to see her mentally change some, in that regards, even if it was for the television cameras. I know couple of women who refuse to change their mind and continue to have these over the top expectations, so this brings me to today’s blog topic the “What Chilli Wants Syndrome.”
Most of us know at least one person that has it. The “What Chilli Wants Syndrome” is when a woman or man’s expectations for finding a mate is extremely too high. No, No, No, MzGaPeachy is saying settle for anything and anyone, but I am saying set your standards to a reasonable level. Understand that there is no perfect person. Hey you’re not perfect. I know you don’t want to hear it, but it is true.
Don’t have these over the top expectations or you will be greatly disappointed every time. You will jump from relationship to relationship, looking for perfection and will not find it. The way I see if the person has most of the qualities you want, and then don’t blow them off when they lack something else. I often times say if there is no cheating or beating, other issues can be worked around. Just give it a chance, you might find a jewel. Or you don’t have to give it a chance and continue have over the top expectations. However, 9 times out of 10 you will continue to be single. Just something to think about.
“A Lady in Da Streets” (repost from old site)
One of the famous quotes of men is “A lady in the street and a freak in the bed.” Some women spending a lot of time looking for passion and lovemaking in the bedroom, while some men on the other hand looking for a woman to release her wild side. The question is can there be a happy medium in the bedroom. I believe so. The thing has to do with the comfort level a person carries in the bedroom. Women have been taught so much to act like a lady, a lot of times she feels self-conscience when she steps in the bedroom. She can however move pass feeling self-conscience, with the trust and love of her man. He has to ensure her that he will think no less of her when they step out of the bedroom. The passion that a woman feels during lovemaking can also be felt during wild sex. That is if she knows that her man truly loves her and she truly loves him. True love allows you to be able to look pass the romance novel imagine of love making and allow you to be able to expand your horizons. A lot of time women want passionate lovemaking; because she is looking to secure a feeling of love she is questioning herself about. Guys don’t get it twisted either. Once you prove to your woman how much you love her, and she loosens up and starts to having the wild sex with you, make sure that is not all you give her. She still needs the passionate love making sessions added in. That is what allows her to come back and give you the best wild sex of your life. A woman is always more loose when she is feeling loved. Men you have to be willing to look pass your image of that porn star too. Many times you are so much caught up in the image of the porn star sex you forget the passion a relationship needs to survive. Women, a man is kept very happy when he knows he can come home after a long day of work and have some freaky sex. There is no need to try to go elsewhere to find what he is getting from you. Men keep the passion so she doesn’t go to the next man to find it. At the end of the day compromise makes everyone happy. So women answer the door for your man in nothing but stilettos and men bring home the flowers so the passionate wild sex can begin.
Song of the Day : Boyz II Men ~ I’ll make Love To You
Taboo in the Bedroom!!! (repost from old blog)
This is going to be quick post. I received an email wanting my opinion about what is taboo in the bedroom for sex between a husband and wife. Well, first let me thank you for asking the question? I don’t make it a habit to answer an email in a blog post, because I like to answer questions back through emails, since every one’s individual situations varies. However, there are occasions where I will answer emails to general questions like this one, in the blog, if I feel it may help others.
Now to answer your questions the only thing I see as taboo in a husband and wife’s sex life is putting another person in the mix. If that offended anyone, I am sorry but that is my belief, so do with it what you please. People don’t change their beliefs for me and I don’t change mine for others. #IJS Plus adding another person can cause a whole other set of complications. Now as far as everything else goes, what goes on behind close doors between two spouses is there business. God created sexual feelings not only for procreation, but for husbands and wives to enjoy each other. I feel as long as both of you are comfortable with it, then do what you do. Hey don’t be afraid to experiment with somethings either, because you never know what you might enjoy. #IJS
Coping With a Child’s Medical Issues (as a couple)
From the time you find out your pregnant, most mommy’s and daddy’s begin to imagine in thier head about thier child’s future. You never imagine you child having issues of any kind, because you only want the best for that child. However, sometimes a child is born with medical issues or medical issues develop later down the line. This is a hard pill to swallow, because we never want anything to be harmful to our child. As a mother or a father we just want our child to be protected. If this does pop up, then you find yourself wondering how you (and/or your mate) are going to cope. This is true even when the condition is not life threating, but just life long.
I say you need each other more then ever. Both of are dealing with the pain of this issue in his or her own way. As a women a lot of times we may cry and our men may not. It doesn’t mean that they are not worried or it is not bothering them. This just means they are wired a different way and cope totally different. I can also tell you that their hurt most of the time runs as deep as yours. However, since our thinking isn’t so rational at times like these just because we don’t see them cry we sometimes assume that we are going through it a lone, but it’s not true.
You have to get together and talk about. You have to let each other know that no matter what you are thier to support each other and carry each other through. You are each other’s strong support system, because you have to be strong for that child. That child should be your main focus, but not so much to forget about each other.
I am going to end this here, because I am just rambling on. My husband and I are dealing with an issue now, with one of our twins. Don’t worry his condition is not life threatening, just life long and adjusting. He probably won’t be phased much, because with him being so young he will just naturely adjust. He is a strong willed and determined little boy, with a lot of fight in him. He is going to grow up and be someone great.
However on the parent home front, after the intial reaction, my husband and I will over come this. We have come through a lot together, because we have had experience with all our kids being born preemies ( from my health issues) and the death of our son (And having to bury him), we have learned all of this stuff that I noted up top. We have learned to have each others back. He is strong where I am weak and vice versa. I just wanted to post this hoping that maybe, it will help some other couple that may have been going through medical issues with thier kids. I want them to know not to let it drive a wedge between, but become closer because you need each other.
Don’t Talk to Everyone!!
This post is quick and to the point. Ladies as well as gentlemen, but ladies more because we feel the need to talk out our problems. I just want to say stop telling everyone when you and your man are having problems. I know we have a natural tendency to want to let it out, but we have to realize that a lot of times this does more harm then good. Why you ask:
1.) You don’t know who is interested in your mate- Everybody who say they your friend are not and as soon as you and your mate are having problems, they use information you said against you.
2.) People just love to gossip- So if you are telling your buisness your better believe people are talking. This may also comeback to hunt you in the end.
3.) A lot of times troubles don’t last always. They are just for the moment- So if you go around getting everyone mad at your mate, just because you are that is not good because when you forgive them others might not be so quick to forgive them. Now you have created awkward situations when you all get together.
If you just have to talk make sure this person has always is trustworthy and someone that you know has alway had your best interest at heart. Make sure you know the person well and make sure they are not a person that is judgemental.
I say see a therapist. Going to a therapist doesn’t always mean your crazy, as stigma has labeled it. This is just a way to talk out your situations and get a different perspective on it. #IJS
But most importantly just watch who you talking your personal buisness with.
Action vs. Words (repost from old site)
It feels good when the love of your life not only speaks love but shows you through their actions. People can say a lot of things, but if your actions don’t equal what is coming out of your mouth then the words are useless. I am asking a question. Are your actions greater than, equal to, or less than the words you speak? If you don’t know the answer to question then you need to check and see if your mate is looking at you cross-eyed. If they are then you know the answer is probably less than, that means you need to re-evaluated yourself and fix it. Now if you are in relationship and your mate’s actions are less than the words that are coming out their mouths, then you better make sure that is where you want to be. Nine times out of ten their actions are showing you
Letting Go Is Hard to Do!!! (after watching LaLa’s Full Court Life)
Okay, thanks to the power of technology I am glad that I no longer have to miss my shows, because I can DVR them. So this morning I got up and watched LaLa’s Full Court Life, but the scene where Trina, LaLa, and LaLa’s mom was sitting in the resturant kind of disturbed me. I seen Trina in a new light and maybe that was the therapist in me. I don’t know, but the way she seemed to not want to let go of Kenyon Martin after 9 months of being apart was just heart breaking. I have seen it so many times in both women and men alike, but to see the human side of a celebrity just made it hit home even more that I chose the right field of work for me.
Now mind you upon some research I found I they had been together for a while, but I really don’t know how good of a ground that relationship started on since articles are saying that he was still married. I don’t know whether or not Kenyon and his wife were in the process of getting a divorce, but either way that gave the relationship a rocky start.
However, I am not here to talk about that aspect this time, but I want to talk about letting a person go. This is one of those easier said than done situation, but if a person doesn’t want to be with you then there is nothing that you can do about it, except accept it and move on. I often times say that you cannot make anyone love you. They either do or they don’t and it is as simple as that. I know that it is hurtful process, but if you don’t let go you can do more damage than good to yourself. When you don’t let go you are giving that person the power over you and that should not be so. The power that you are allowing them to have over you, they do not deserve. You should be using that power to move forward and find someone better. And let’s take into account that you do find someone that loves you, you may miss out on the best thing that could have happened to you, because you hung up on someone that cares nothing about you. So my advice is begun to heal yourself, by distancing yourself from the situation so that you can begin to look at it from a different perspective. The longer you try to stay connected the longer the process will take. Find you an outlet, so that you can use that energy that you spend worrying about them on something more productive. You are the most important person in your life, because without you taking care of yourself you are no good to anyone else anyway. #IJS Oh yeah, I was glad at the end that she agreed to go on the date. I don’t know if anything came from it, but the fact that she went was a start.
Still Enjoying Each Other (our date night)!!
I think the best thing in the world is your mate surprises you, especially after you have had a long day. My husband called me on his way home yesterday and stated he was taking me to a game last night. I was tired and really didn’t want to go, but you never turn down a date with your mate, because you have to live every moment together like it is your last. Well anyway we spent the 25 minute ride to the game just talking and conversing. I enjoyed that so much, because I was finally able to tell him about my first week back to school without us falling asleep on each other or the kids interrupting my every word. For those of you with kids know how that goes and then by the time the house calms down you two are falling to sleep on each other. This is why I often say that date nights are important, because normal life can cause accidental disconnects from each other. I will say that he listen attentively and commented appropriately, and the conversation was refreshing. I will also say that when we got to the game I enjoyed myself. He was hugging up on me like we were still in high school and it felt good. After the game we went out for frozen yogurt, but don’t tell my kids LOL because they would have a fit. Finally we took the long way home and the night ended with a blast. I don’t usually share dates on here, but I am still riding off of last night’s high. We didn’t have to go out on some fancy elaborate date to have fun, but that just goes to show it does not take a lot for you to have an amazing date with your mate. Just the fact that we were together meant the world to me. If you read this blog today Baby, thank you for everything because you made my week. And yes he does read them, LOL.