You Better Check Him!!!!

You Better Check Him!!!!

I had no intention of blogging today, but I saw an incident today that called for a blog. A female (I will call her A-female seen another female (I will call her B-female) standing up talking to her friend. A-female pulled the car into the parking lot and approached B-female about messing around with her man. Well B-female said that she did not know who A-female was and had not seen her before in her life. A-female was going off and B-female kept trying to ask A-female who her man was. After A-female eventually calms down long enough to say the dude name then, B-female told her that he had said he was single and told her she needed to go check with him.

Now, I am going to say this and I know some people will get mad, but B-female cannot be held accountable for this situation. The only way you can hold B-female accountable if she knew that the guy already had someone that he was with. This girl was standing up there totally clueless and had no idea who A-female was. So, therefore, it was the man that A-female needed to be checking, because was the one out there doing all the lying and cheating. Plus B-female said she wasn’t even from here, she was transferred here by the military and met the guy, at the club. It is one thing if you knew each other or of each other, but that was not the case. So weigh in on Facebook and let me know what you think.

Missing In Action!!!!!

Missing In Action!!!!!

Yesterday one of my cuzzos (Lisa) asked hypothetical questions on Facebook and her questions were: What would you do or say if your wife or husband; girlfriend or boyfriend, went MIA for four and a half days? Would you ask questions? Ask them to get out? Or take them back in as nothing happened? Well you know me for a question like that I had to weigh in and give my two cents. I responded saying that they had better be in a coma or very close to it. But truth is if they really love you they are not going to disappear on you 4 days and you know nothing about where they went. My hubby and I try to make sure we always tell each other where we are going, because if God forbid one of us was injured, kidnap, or even killed, we need for someone to have somewhere to start the search. That is just common sense.

There is no excuse for being gone all day , let alone 4 days, unless they told you they had to go somewhere for their job or have a trip planned with their friends. However even then you should have known about that in advance and they should still contact you in between time to let you know that they are alright.

That goes back to yesterday “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” They would not want you to disappear 4 days and not saying anything and if you did leave for 4 days and they did not say anything or get mad, then that means they don’t care. That’s just being real.

People going MIA creates trust issues and if they are gone that long without a reasonable explanation those trust issues are 100% validated. And now you will be looking and questioning every time they leave out of your sight.  No trust in a relationship is not healthy, but I am going to leave that one alone though, because that is a whole other blog post within itself.

There is no way to justify being gone that long, without an excellent  reason, unless you a secret government agent and even they are going to make up some kind of excuse why they leaving for four days.  I am just saying. So readers, let me hear from you on Facebook, how would you handle that situation?

The song of the day is Mary J. Blige: Not Gon Cry (because this would be one of those moment that I would exhale after I put they stuff out the door.)

“Do Unto To Others As You Will Have Them Do Unto You”

“Do Unto To Others As You Will Have Them Do Unto You”

Sometimes beautifully spoken words that you say to a person or about a person can really brighten up their day. This is especially true in relationships. A loving word to your mate can sometimes help ease the stress and tension of the long day that he or she may have had. Sometimes it can be something as simple as “you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” You should constantly say and do things to make your mate feel happy and that way he or she will know that you appreciate them and all that they do. Think of it this way: what if the shoe was on the other foot? During your day, you already ran into a 101 people who don’t care, but by your mate being who they are and saying something caring to you its brings about a smile. It also helps you to forget about negativity that the other 101 people may have brought to your day. My friend Erica quote that old saying today “Do unto others as you will have them do unto you” and so think about that when talking to your mate today.

Also think about sending the words while they are away.

1.)  Call

2.)  Text

3.)  Email

4.)   Tweet

5.) Or pack them a note in their lunch or something that they take to work with them.

It will bring a smile to them and later they may bring a smile home to you. #IJUSTSAYING

Song For Today:Kenny Lattimore~For You

 

Let’s Chill and Enjoy the Fall!!!

Let’s Chill and Enjoy the Fall!!!

Like us, I am sure that most of you have work, kids, school, and all other types of going on during the week so having time for each other then is almost totally impossible. So I am sure that if you have a mate that works during the week or you both work during the week, by the time the weekend starts to approach you get happy not only about being able to rest, but about spending time with your mate. I know I do, and I am sure that I am not the only one. Another challenge for you this weekend is for you to spend a little time together,chill, and enjoy the fall.

With this being the first official day of fall and the weather starting to change, now is the perfect time to leave everything to the side for a while. Get out and enjoy the fall weather  and colors with each other. Take a walk, ride bikes, go to the park, go to an amusment park, etc. but find something outside to do together. If you have any creative ideas of things that couples can do together to enjoy the fall, please share with others on the FB page, just in case others are looking for some ideas. Life is to short, so never take any moment that God allows you to have with them for granted. Try to enjoy each and every moment that that you can with them.

Today’s song is by Guy ~ Let’s Chill

“Balancing Act” written by Mrs. C

“Balancing Act”  written by Mrs. C

(repost from old blog)

Today many times we find ourselves on overkill or overload. Women we take on many tasks in providing for the needs of our husband and family, not to mention our own personal needs. Men you work, work, and work hard in providing for your family, growing tired in the process. You both need to STOP, don’t lose yourselves outside of home it is very essential to balance work, home, and personal life to prevent losing yourselves and what you are working for together. Because you are on overkill, or overload it sometimes makes it very difficult to deal with certain situations that may come about in the relationship. “STOP”? right where you are, sit down and just breathe. Pray and ask God to help you, because he is right there waiting. Conduct a family meeting to talk and establish some ground rules, allowing everyone to share. Remember to remain open for suggestions. You and your mate are one, and to make things balance and flow smoothly it will take everyone, including the children taking on tasks and instructions.

Now, as a couple set aside that time, for the two of you. If you do not see the time, make some time for the other. Dig deep and think of the good that attracted you to one another. “DATE” whether it may be in the bedroom, the movies or out for dinner alone, as long as it is away from overkill and stress. The best release is to engage in a spontaneous evening of romance and sex. Sex is the best way to de-stress your mind and body suggested by doctors and professionals, as well as it honoring your union as one.

Photobucket Mrs. C

Mrs. C holds a degree in art and psychology and is currently pursuing her Masters.  She is presently working an educator, because of her passion to work with students and their families.  She believes her Christian faith and her family keeps her grounded, in pursuing her dreams. She is currently a blogger for http://www.darealtalk.com, and always has plenty to say.

Da Real Talk Challenge: My Personal Journey to Accomplshing my Goals

Da Real Talk Challenge: My Personal Journey to Accomplshing my Goals

Da Real Talk Challenge ~ Today, Da Real Talk challenges you to start trying to work towards accomplishing one goal that you ever wanted to accomplish, in life. If you accomplish that one, then you will realize God has already given you the power and ability to accomplish the rest, if you only just believe, in yourself!!!! Don’t ever limit your potential, because with God you are limitless.

I am going to share my personal experience on accomplishing one of my goals that started me on the drive to want to continue on and accomplish more. The first goal that I set out to accomplish for myself is obtaining my BA., in psychology.

I had longed to go back to school for years, but it keep seeming that obstacles kept coming up and I keep getting discouraged. I had even actually started back, but my heart was not completely in it, because I had personal issues going on. Well after working a couple of jobs, where I knew I my intelligence level was way smarter then my supervisor and my skill level was to high I decided to go on back to school. Not bragging, but you must always think highly of yourself, even if no one else doesn’t.

It was not going to be any easy challenge either, because I was married and with four kids, and my twins just happen to be babies when I started back. Yet, I wanted to go back to school. My husband said it was the perfect itme, because I wasn’t working.

Now, I am going to say my sister, because I really don’t like using that sister-in-law (family becomes one through marriage), Sheka, introduced me to the University of Phoenix. Mind you I was a little skeptical at first about the whole online schooling, but I thought to myself “Hey do you really have a couple of more years to waste, until the twins got old enough for you to get back in a traditional class room?” So I decided to go head and give it a try anyway, because I only needed a couple of more years to graduate anyway.

This started my goal to my second challenge, because anyone who has been to school online knows you have to be super discipline. I tell you with kids, being discipline to do online classes is a challenge. I had to schedule and routine myself for setting up times to do school work, cater to my husband, and take care of my kids. Let’s just say I suffered from a lack of sleep. It did not stop me though, I kept pushing on. Thank God for a wonderful husband, wonderful parents, wonderful siblings, and my bestie Kim Candler  who kept me encouraged. However, let me tell you that still wasn’t enough, I had to go directly to God for self encouragment and encouragment from the Holy Spirit.

At the beginning, of this year when I was so nearing the graduation date. My dad (My Husband’s Dad) passed away and then my maternal grandfather passed away. That on top of just regular life issues, begin to weigh on me hard. My family and bestie kept on encouraging me. It got so bad that I had an anxiety attack (I thought I was having a heart attack) and I was about to walk away from doing the actual commencement ceremony. It was so bad my twins had even wrecked our van, and seem like things kept happening. I had to really go to God then and continue to encourage myself even more.

Well, I made it to that ceremony. I walked acrossed that stage. It was the best feeling in the world.  I graduated with a 3.5 GPA which was good considering all the obstacles I had been going through. I knew then I wanted to start to accomplish everything a set my mind on.

For at example “Da Real Talk” is my baby. This is my company that I am working from the ground up. This has not only has to do with relationships, but life. I chose the rose, because God visioned it to me as showing the beauty of a woman. It will eventaully venture into a lot of direction from books, to clothes, to non profit organizations, etc. the directions are limitless. Hence the slogan “Venturing into Whatever Direction God Allows” me to go next.

See, now I have realized that I can accomplish goals, so I am working on two goals. The other is getting my Masters Degree in Professional Counseling. It is in a traditional classroom now, because the twins are in headstart.These two goals will have me busy for the next  couple of years, but with God and my supporting cast I have around me I will accomplish these goals also. And eventaully my ultimate goal of obtaining my PH D.

With all that being said, please don’t overload yourself with goals, because you can become discourage. My father once told me “that discouragment was the devil’s biggest weapon and it is very deadly, if you allow it to be.” So try to build up your accomplishments, by completing one goal first and then continuing on to more. Thanks for taking the time to read  my goal accomplishing journey. Now, get up and start towards yours.

Today’s song is by R. Kelly : I Believe I Can Fly

 

Every Woman Is Special (repost from my old blog)

Every Woman Is Special (repost from my old blog)

Every woman is special and should know her own self worth. A woman should never compromise her integrity, her love for herself, or anything about herself that God has given her, that makes her unique. She is a an amazing being, with unlimited potential. She has the capability of completing several of life task, simultaneously, without one compliant. She can be very strong willed and can have the strength of a lioness,when needed. At the same time she can be very gentle, meek, and mild. She has beauty glowing all about, even if at times she doesn’t see it. I guess what I am saying is be careful with who you let have your heart, but at the same time don’t lock it to tight. You don’t want your heart locked so tight that when you run into Mr. Right you scare him away.

Just A Thought

Just A Thought

I so enjoy waking up in the morning and looking at my husband and realizing  that I grow so much more in love with him every day. I am not saying that we don’t have our problems, because we do. Everybody does, it is how you learn to deal with them that sets your marriage apart. I have noticed that over the year’s disagreements come less and less. I will say 90% of the time we tend to agree, but there is that little 10% where we don’t. However, I feel those 10% allows the sparks to still fly in a relationship and allows you to stay on your toes. It also means that we are still individuals and our own person. I know the first few years, after the honeymoon period, can sometimes get rough, especially as you are learning more and more about the person, but if you hang in there sometimes things will get better. Marriage has to be worked at and doesn’t come easy by any means, but it can be worth it. As I always say as long as there is no cheating and beating everything else can be worked out, if both parties want them too. Just a thought for today.

Song for Today!!! (via youtube)

 

 

 

 

Is Swizz Beatz Still Up to His Old Tricks? (Cheating Already?) (via Yahoo’s associated content)

Is Swizz Beatz Still Up to His Old Tricks? (Cheating Already?) (via  Yahoo’s associated content)

I am posting the link to the article on Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz that I wrote for associated content. The last paragraph of the article sums up my thoughts of the situation.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/8395483/is_swizz_beatz_still_up_to_his_old.html?cat=2

Cheating: Can You Forgive?

Cheating: Can You Forgive?

Okay, in the spirit of the cheating topic.  My next question is how many of you can forgive your mate for cheating? Now, this is one of those really tricky topics, because each situation is different, and each situation has different factors to consider (kids, finances, etc.). If you haven’t actually been in the situation, then it probably would be easy for you to say just walk away.  However, in reality that is always easier said than done. Forgiveness is often times hard, because we are hurt and trust has been broken and violated. Now forgiveness can be achieved if both parties work at it. It often times is a long difficult road, because even though we say that we forgive do we actually ever forget?

I will tell you this if you do forgive them, you have to really forgive them and not throw it up in their face every chance you get. If you want it to work and they want it to work you have to let it go. Of if you can’t let it go then you need to move on, because this is only going to create a miserable situation. However, if you do decide to stay and try to work it out then, your forgiveness of them is really not about benefitting them, but benefitting yourself. Think of it this way, by letting it go you are doing it for you, because  there is no point in continuing to have your heart breaking over and over again every time you imagine them being with someone else. Letting go is where the healing, begins.

Now with all that being said whatever you do please make sure that person wants to work it out with you. Never be a fool and continue to let someone sit there a cheat on you over and over again, and you forgive them over and over again. People will do dirt and mistreat you, as long as you allow them too. If they don’t work hard to gain your trust back after the first time, then evidently they don’t care about you and just care about themselves. That is just common sense. My advice if they are not working toward the relationship like you are is to get up and run the other way quickly, because the heartache is just not worth it.