“You Can’t Make Them Love You”

“You Can’t Make Them Love You”

Well I got am email from a reader stating that she and her mate was having problems. Okay I guess you are asking yourself isn’t that the whole purpose of the blog site.  Yes it is.  However, this is one of those I feel I have to touch on for the general population. The email stated that she was hurting and heart was broken, because the man she loved said he did not want to be with her anymore. She also told me she did everything she knew how to do in order to keep him happy. She was asking if I had any suggestion. Well my answer I know is not one of those she probably wanted to hear, but it is the one I gave.  I told her if he didn’t want to be there let him go. It is not worth the time or the effort, because in the end the outcome is still going to be the same. You cannot make someone love you, who doesn’t love you and doesn’t want to be there. If you do happen to have kept them around, 9 times out of 10 you are going to be miserable. Because if they are not happy being there, trust in believe they are not going to try and do anything to make you happy. They feel if they have to suffer by being there, they are going to make you suffer for keeping them there. I know it is easier said than done, but sometimes in order for you to find the person that God has for you, you have to let the one that he doesn’t go. That is just something to think about, because if you have to emotionally hurt, it is better to do it by yourself then to have someone their intentionally inflicting you with more emotional pain. Please keep that in mind. You should never accept less, to keep from being alone.

How Jealous is to Jealous? (I’m Just Saying)

How Jealous is to Jealous? (I’m Just Saying)

Let’s admit it, we all have a tendancy to get jealous at some point in a relationship. In some cases that person gives you a reason to be jealous, but what about those cases where it really isn’t thier fault. I guess my question is : How jealous is to jealous? I noticed that people who come out of relationshps where they have been cheated on tend to be a lot more jealous. I think people who do that need to be very careful that you are not pulling you past relationships into your now relationship. It is not healthy for you psychologically, it’s not healthy for your mate, or your relationship. In many cases jealousy is unwarranted, and comes up out of insecurties that your new mate will cheat, because your old mate did. Please be careful and don’t try to clump the two relationships in the same catagory. When you become over jealous you just may end up pushing that person away and maybe even into some elses arms. They may have had no intentions of going to someone else, but their mindset becomes he or she is going to accuse me of doing it anyway, so I might as well do it. Nope, I am not saying that justifies cheating, but what I am saying is that it does happen. All I want to show is that if you are displaying a jealous spirit make sure that the person has did something to deserve it, and not just because of what someone from your past did. #IJS

Why We Should Get Our Sex On!!!! (I”M JUST SAYING)

Well Thursday I went to a doctor’s appointment with the hubby and you know how we all do pick up a magazine that looks like it could have an interesting article, to read, that will help us kill time. I just happen to run across an Ebony magazine that was talking about sex and why it is a good thing. Now I am going to share with you some of the reasons that the magazine stated that sex is beneficial.  The magazine stated that sex is an exercise. The only exercise that most people truly enjoy. The magazine also stated that it helps lowers blood pressure, relieves stress, and helps you get good sleep . Next time you get stressed out, can’t sleep, get anxious put down the xanax or any other medication that you may be taking to help your problem, and take a dose of your spouse. The last thing that it stated is that having sex at least twice a week helps to keep men heart healthy. Now ladies for those of you that do your job and look after your man’s well being, should make sure this part of your regime. It is okay to add more then the recommended 2 doses a week also, the more the better. Hey the way I see it, if it is going to keep you and your spouse healthy and youthful then by all means get your sex on. A lot of us jump on these health kick bandwagons anyway, so we might as well jump on that one too. I personally think that sex is very important in a relationship. If your starting to get offended don’t, just because I didn’t mention love that doesn’t mean I forgot it or think it is not important. So, I guess for those of you who still have a sex phobia, I will say it this way: LOVE defines a healthy relationship, but SEX enhances it. Feel better now. Anyway for those of you who enjoy sex and don’t have a sex phobia get your sex on , because the life you save might just be your own.  I’m just saying!!!!

Let the Good Outweigh the Bad!!!!

Let the Good Outweigh the Bad!!!!

I love being married to my husband. I am not saying that our marriage is perfect, but it is perfect to him and me. You take two imperfect people and make happiness, because you learn to spend more time looking at what they do right and less time looking at what they do wrong. For example my hubby knows how to be so sweet at times. It is like he always knows if something is wrong with me even when he is not here. He called me today exactly when I needed him, because I was in a period funk. And guess what? He says he is going to bring me chocolate home. Now don’t get it wrong, he does things that sometimes make me mad as well as. However if I think more about all the sweet stuff that he does for me then the good always outweigh the bad. We have to stop spending so much time concentrating on the negatives and learn how to find the positives. As I often say as long as no one is cheating or beating, then the rest of the stuff you can make it through, but that works only if you let the good outweigh the bad. I’m just saying that is just something to think about if you find yourself getting mad at your mate. Always try to look for their good……..Update he just walked through the door with six packs of regular size Reese cups candy. Yeah he knows what I like. He also brought some dinner home for us to celebrate (Japanese shrimp and steak).  See these are the things that mean the most to me, not what he brought but the thought he put behind it.

Love or Infatuation?

Love or Infatuation?

My question for today is about the word love. I am just wondering how people can throw it around and use it so loosely. I have seen so many people, both women and men alike, get hurt behind people loosely using the word. Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that you are in love. You could just be infatuated with them. Think of it this way, when you are truly in love, you can see yourself being with that person through thick and thin. For example, if that person was in a terrible accident where he or she becomes disfigured, disabled, or both. Can you really see yourself staying around to help that person knowing that they were going through such physical turmoil? Are you prepared to go through all the emotional turmoil that will affect not only them, but you also? Before you answer those questions, truly think about what you would do. If you answered yes to both then chances are you are in love, if you see yourself pulling up and leaving chance are you are just infatuated. Reality is true love comes from way deeper than physical attraction and what he or she can do for you. When you use love loosely not only do you disrespect your mate, but you disrespect God. Remember God is love, so make sure you know what you’re saying before you say it. Take the word LOVE seriously and don’t say it unless you are prepared to back it up with your actions.

“How did you know that you found the one?”

“How did you know that you found the one?”

I want to know from my readers “How did you know that you found the one?” I will tell you, with my husband, I fell in love at first site. I even whispered to one of my cousins “There go my husband right there.”  She was like “yeah whatever.” Well he did become my husband and after all these years I still know that he was the one. Our marriage, like any other marriage, has had its share of test, but through all the bad we have ever experienced I still knew he was the one.  Through all the good and wonderful memories I still know he is the one. Through the love we share for our kids I still know that he was the one. I knew he was the one when love outweighed infatuation. And yes in a relationship love will start outweighing infatuation, because storms will arise. However, if you didn’t tuck your tail between your legs and run and you came out on the other end of those storms standing together, then you know that love outweighed infatuation. So again my question to you is “How did you know that you found the one?” Think about it and share your answer with us on the Facebook Page!

Today’s song was chosen by reader- Ashiya Soule and it was so right for this blog post. Usher -You Got it Bad

 

 

 

Commen

“Don’t Hate It!!! Learn to Enjoy It!!! SEX”

“Don’t Hate It!!! Learn to Enjoy It!!! SEX”

(repost from old site)

Okay Ladies,

I over heard a  conversation from a couple of women that really caught my attention. No, I was  not being nosey they were just talking out loud, LMBO. One was talking about  feeling self conscience about sex with her husband. From what I gathered, it had  nothing to do with her husband but her upbringing. Basically it seems as if she  was taught sex was for keeping the hubby happy and making babies.Well ladies, do  you want to know what I think about that. I think it is “NONSENSE”. Sex needs to  be enjoyed by the woman as well as a man. She shouldn’t feel conformed to some  prehistoric caveman notion about sex. Women have just as much right to be freaky  and enjoy sex as much as their husbands. And if she is not allowing herself to  enjoy sex to the fullest she is missing a real treat. Mrs. C had said in one of  her post that sex was a stress reducer, but that only works if the woman is  enjoying sex. Good sex should have you smiling and glowing afterwards. Your  husband should be willing to please you as much as much as he wants to be  pleased. Now the truth is most (not all) men aim to please. Women you have to  allow him too please you and let go of your inhibitions. If he don’t know what  you like, I can’t stress this enough “Tell Him!!!” If he truly loves you, he  will listen. Sex is not something for you to think of as gross, nasty, and  appalling. Please, if that is your mind let it go, because if you don’t you are  going to continue to miss out one of this best things you could experience, in  life.

Do We Know Who We Are Alone?

Do We Know Who We Are Alone?

 

Today I read a tweet off of twitter that stated” The issue isn’t that you’re alone, the issue is that you don’t know who you are alone.” It got me thinking is that why so many people jump from relationship to relationship. I am just asking. Do we really not know who we are alone? I guess you ask, MzGaPeachy why you asking you have a husband. Well that maybe true, but God forbid if something did happen to my husband would I know how to be alone, after all these years. I am not talking about being single and going to bed at night alone by yourself, but I am talking about no courtships of any kind. How many of us can truly handle just dating ourselves? This even goes for some of the married, with spouses who are deployed or other situations where their spouse is gone a lot. I live in a military town and have seen some things. Spouses having babies with others while the other spouse is gone or the spouse who are gone getting in trouble for fraternizing while they were gone. Is it because they just do not know who they are alone? If this is really true, what can we do to learn to who we are alone, before adding someone else in the mix? I would love to hear tips about learning how to be alone, without looking for a significant other to comfort you, because I would love to write a blog from your feed back.